Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people believe that having a lot of money in life is the main way of happiness. This essay will discuss how significant amount of money can make people happy, and what other things such as healthy lifestyle and achievements can make people delightful.

On the one hand, a lot of money can play a vital role in someone's happiness because It fulfills basic to advance needs of people. When individuals have a considerable amount of funds, they can spend them on high quality amenities including healthcare and education. For example, people who are prone to disease can bear the expenses of costly hospitals, which might otherwise not possible with insufficient money. Therefore, enough funds can offer them happiness by enhancing their quality of life.

On the other hand, other factors like healthy lifestlye can also make people happy. If individuals live with their family members and eat healthy food, they can stay contented. For instance, living with loved ones provide people internal satisfaction as they can share their ups and downs with them. In addition, many people feel joyful when they achieve something new in their lives. It could be promotion at work, getiing good marks in exams, and having a understanding life-partner in life. Thus, living a happy life depends on several factors taht shoud be take into consideration.

In conclusion, although having a significant money can buy happiness to some extent, other things such as staying healthy and getting achivements also important to live happily. Thus, only money cannot buy happiness in people's lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both how money can bring happiness, such as fulfilling basic and advanced needs like healthcare and education, and exploring alternative sources of happiness, including healthy lifestyles, family relationships, and personal achievements. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, while the discussion on financial needs and healthcare is well-supported with an example, the section mentioning other factors introduces multiple concepts—such as family, work promotion, exam marks, and a life partner—without fully extending or elaborating on them all. To reach the next level, you need to ensure that every main idea receives equal depth of support and extension.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

You demonstrate a clear logical organisation and progression throughout your response, maintaining a coherent overall arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate your introduction, body paragraphs focusing on different aspects of happiness, and conclusion. You use cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader, such as transitional phrases like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In addition'. Referencing is generally clear, though minor mechanical issues in cohesion prevent it from reaching a higher level of flexibility. To improve further, ensure that cohesive transitions link your ideas with even greater naturalness and that referencing within sentences is completely seamless.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to discuss the topic of happiness and money. You attempt less common vocabulary items, such as 'amenities', 'internal satisfaction', and 'contented', which shows a reasonable breadth of lexical resource. However, there are some word-choice and spelling errors that occasionally detract from precision, such as writing 'lifestlye' instead of 'lifestyle', 'getiing' instead of 'getting', 'taht' instead of 'that', and 'shoud be take' instead of 'should be taken'. Additionally, phrases like 'significant money' instead of 'a significant amount of money' show minor limitations. These errors do not impede communication, but eliminating them and using more sophisticated collocations will elevate your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, demonstrating an ability to construct subordinate clauses and conditional structures, such as 'When individuals have a considerable amount of funds...' and 'If individuals live with their family members...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as article omissions ('a understanding life-partner' instead of 'an understanding life-partner'), preposition use, and minor agreement or verb form issues ('which might otherwise not possible' instead of 'which might otherwise not be possible'). However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication. To move to a higher band, you should aim for greater control over complex sentence patterns and reduce instances of missing auxiliary verbs or articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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