Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argues that richness could make them feel glad. This essay will examine how living luxirous life and fulfilling their dreams have contributed to make people happy. And will also suggest that job satisfaction and spending quality time with family add to happiness.

Some people often feel elated with a lot of money because they can live life comfortably. The money helps them to buy branded things for them and a luxurious house with modern facilities. Thus, people feel happy after they get compliments for their branded things. They also realize their good fortune. Besides, people make plans to acheive their dreams. There are so many adventrous and captivating places which only some wealthy people could visit. For instance, rich people always visit abraod to celebrate their special ocassions , while poor people are left disappointed because they do not have enough money to spend.

Conversely, job satisfaction is really crucial for some people. People wants to enjoy their weekends and family time rather than replying for unnecessary calls on their spare time. Consequently, people becomes glad from their job if they realize no overburden of work. Furthermore, an individual feels excited mostly when he spends time with his family. A person could share their emotions with their loved ones. This would turn out a stress buster activity for them where they can enjoy in family functions and meet their relatives and friends. For example, jobs like doctors and engineer provides them impressive financial package, but they feel upset when they has to miss their family functions. As a result, the bonding between family members will be strong.

To conclude, undoubtedly making more money helps to spend convinent life and achieve dreams. However, the things like job enjoyment and togetherness also contributes in making people happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains that money can provide comfort, branded goods and opportunities to travel, then identifies job satisfaction and family relationships as other sources of happiness. The position is clear in the introduction and conclusion, and the examples about overseas celebrations and professionals missing family events are relevant. This meets the task well, while some ideas are less fully developed than others. For instance, the link between compliments on possessions and lasting happiness is asserted rather than explained, and the point about job satisfaction could be supported with a clearer example of how it improves wellbeing. To strengthen the response further, explain the effects of each factor and distinguish more clearly between temporary pleasure and lasting happiness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and non-financial sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The progression from financial comfort and travel to work-life balance and family is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Besides,” “Conversely,” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical, and some connections are not fully clear. The opening “And will also suggest” is a sentence fragment, while “As a result” does not clearly show how the preceding example leads to stronger family bonds. Use complete topic sentences and make cause-and-effect links explicit; also vary transitions and use pronouns with clear references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “elated,” “job satisfaction,” “modern facilities,” and “stress buster.” These choices show an effort to go beyond basic wording, but control is uneven: several spellings and word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “luxirous,” “acheive,” “abraod,” and “convinent.” Some phrases also do not collocate naturally, including “live life comfortably” and “replying for unnecessary calls.” These errors are noticeable and occasionally make the reader pause, although the main meaning remains understandable. Focus on accurate spelling and natural word partnerships, and choose precise expressions rather than inserting ambitious vocabulary where a simpler phrase would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “where.” Most ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction are noticeable. Examples include “Some people argues,” “People wants,” “people becomes,” and “doctors and engineer provides”; these subjects require matching verb forms and, in the last example, a plural noun. “And will also suggest” is an incomplete sentence, and “when they has to miss” has an incorrect verb form. Review subject–verb agreement and ensure every sentence has a complete main clause. More accurate control of these patterns, alongside the existing attempts at complex sentences, would improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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