Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that money is the primary way to be glad in life for people. I believe that a huge amount of money enables people to buy their desiered things, but other factors are also important to bring happiness in people's lives, such as a strong bonding with family members.

To commence, individuals are more happy with lots of money because they can purchase their desire things in their life, such as expensive clothes and motor vehicles. When people have a good bank balance, they have an ability to buy almost anything in the world. It does not matter how expensive the thing is. This leads to bringing a lot of happiness becuase their dreams come true. For example, In Canada, when rich people feel stressed, they go to supermarket where they begin purchasing luxury items until their stress turns into happiness.

Moving towards the another factors to have happiness is a strong family bonding. family members are the only one who support in any worse situation. If people have a good understanding with family members, they can easily resolve the family issues. This leads to building a strong connection amomg family members. For an example, although people can buy anything form money, the emotional support can never be bought by money, as a result, when people failed in their life, they are never dissappointed because their family support is always with them, which brings a new hope among them to do something different.

In conclusion, although every costly item can be bought by money which makes people glad for a while, the importance of family support and relation are more important than money because money does not provide emotional support as family does.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: money can provide material enjoyment, while family relationships offer a deeper source of happiness. The examples of buying luxury items and receiving family support are relevant, and the conclusion reinforces your view. The explanation of how money may help is understandable, but it focuses mainly on purchasing possessions; you could also explain how money can reduce financial stress or provide security. The family paragraph gives a more developed explanation, though the supermarket example is broad and would be stronger with a clearer, more realistic link between spending and lasting happiness. More balanced development of both parts would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The progression from money to family support is easy to follow, and phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, some linking is mechanical: “To commence” and “Moving towards the another factors” sound formulaic, while “This leads to” is repeated. The long sentence beginning “For an example, although people can buy anything…” contains several connected ideas, making the relationship between them less clear. Use simpler transitions where appropriate and divide that sentence so each point is easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss money, possessions, and family relationships, including phrases such as “bank balance,” “emotional support,” and “strong connection.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural and reduce precision. For instance, “be glad in life” and “desire things” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “family bonding” and “purchasing luxury items” are more suitable concepts, but the surrounding phrasing needs refinement. Spelling errors such as “desiered,” “becuase,” and “dissappointed” are noticeable. Build accuracy by learning common collocations and checking spelling, rather than relying on translated or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If people have a good understanding…” and a concession beginning “although people can buy anything…”. Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “family members are the only one who support” has a plural-subject agreement problem, and “Moving towards the another factors” has an article and number mismatch. The final sentence of the family paragraph is also overloaded, with several clauses joined together and punctuation that does not clearly separate the ideas. Aim to control these longer structures and check subject–verb agreement and article use.

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