Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Happiness is significantly rely on satisfaction of several factors such as jobs, family, and financial abilities. Many people try to associate happiness to monetary value and they often say that money can buy happiness. From my perspective, financial strength is one of the main pillars of happiness but there are other important perspectives which attributes significantly to individuals satisfaction. This essay will discuss factors that are affecting to happiness.

To begin, money is a indispensible part of our lives. A person with strong bank balance do not have to worry about price of a product or unprecedented expenses because they have a capability to purchase it without hesitation, whereas a person from economical background has to worry about cost of products or services. In other words, having a lot of money gives freedom to wealthy people. They can buy products, facilities and services to ease day-to-day problems without hesitation.

On the other hand, there are various other things in life that could make us happy. One of the most important factor is job satisfaction. In recent years, it has been seen that individuals are spending significant amount of time at workplace. Many of them enjoy spending their time at workplace. It has been scientifically proven that a person who are enjoying their work are much happier. They often have maintained good relationship with their team. Contrary, a ones who is not satisfied with work might feel sad.

To sum up, money can make our life easy. It helps to provide comfort and peace at certain extent but job satisfaction, family happiness and other factors also plays an important role when it comes to happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains that money can reduce worry and provide purchasing freedom, and identifies job satisfaction, family happiness and relationships as other sources of happiness. Your position—that money matters but is not the only factor—is clear. The financial point is relevant, especially the contrast between people who can afford unexpected expenses and those who worry about costs. However, the discussion of other sources is less fully developed: job satisfaction receives some explanation, while family happiness is only named in the conclusion. The claim that workplace enjoyment has been “scientifically proven” would also be stronger with a specific example or explanation. Develop each main idea with a concrete illustration to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and other sources of happiness, and a concluding summary. Transitions such as “To begin,” “On the other hand” and “To sum up” make the progression easy to follow, and the contrast between financial security and job satisfaction is apparent. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some movement towards more flexible cohesion. However, the linking phrases are somewhat formulaic, and some references are unclear—for example, “a ones who is not satisfied” does not clearly match the singular “a person.” The workplace paragraph also moves quickly from job enjoyment to relationships without fully explaining the connection. Use clearer referencing and link each supporting point explicitly to the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial strength,” “unprecedented expenses,” “job satisfaction” and “day-to-day problems.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and attempts at more formal language show some range. At times, however, less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “financial abilities,” “economical background” and “attributes significantly to individuals satisfaction.” There are also spelling and word-form issues, including “indispensible.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations where needed—for example, “financial resources” and “low-income background”—and check spelling and possessive forms. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish financial security from simply being able to buy things.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, such as the contrast beginning “whereas a person…” and the relative clause “a person who are enjoying their work.” This shows some structural variety, and the overall meaning remains understandable. However, some errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction persist. Examples include “Happiness is significantly rely,” “A person … do not have to worry,” “One of the most important factor,” and “other factors also plays.” The sentence about people enjoying their work also has a subject–verb agreement error. Review agreement between subjects and verbs, and check articles with singular countable nouns. Aim to retain the longer sentence forms while ensuring each clause has a correctly formed subject and verb.

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