Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Having a great financial support builds a joyful lifelong journey. Moreover, a big bank balace creates a contemporary happiness, in which a person can buy luxury at any cost without thinking, but wealth is only responsible to give the freedom to live the life an individual would be looking forward, but not the real happiness. True bliss always comes from doing good deeds and living the moments with loved ones.

I opine that fair amount of bucks are highly efficient to build a well driven lifestyle and growth with broad opportunities. To further enlighten the sentence, all the public figure individuals and icons with famous personalities has the power to establish whatever they want to do in their lives to stay happy and successful. For instance, one of my own relative who had recently gone through serious medical issues, but due to his financial budget allowance, he got the treatment from one of the best hospital in Italty and stablized the situation with real time contentment.

However, wealth not always gives you serenity and cheerful live, real time happiness are having solid family support and warm heart with strong mindset. To elaborate more, my uncle is having unfathomable wealth, but his wife left him due to their personal issue, however his father is on wheel-chair, leads to stressful and imbalaced life, where money does not matter.

In a nutshell, i believe that although monetary benefits are always make life more easier and smooth, but good health and supportive family is an actual weath, money is just about the number you are making to live happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: money can provide access to luxury and medical treatment, while family support and good health are presented as other sources of happiness. Your examples about your relative receiving treatment and your wealthy uncle experiencing family difficulties make the discussion relevant, and your position—that money improves life but does not guarantee happiness—is clear. This meets the task well overall. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: the reference to public figures, for example, does not show specifically how their wealth creates happiness. The contrast between financial security and emotional wellbeing is more developed. To strengthen the response further, explain the effects of money and non-financial sources of happiness more consistently, and connect each example directly to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening position, paragraphs discussing money and non-financial happiness, and a concluding summary. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” “However,” and “In a nutshell” help signal the direction of the argument. The overall progression is understandable, and the contrast between your relative’s treatment and your uncle’s personal difficulties gives the essay a useful organising idea. At times, though, connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening sentence beginning “Moreover” introduces a contrast that is not fully signposted, and “To further enlighten the sentence” does not clearly connect the example to the claim. Use simpler, more precise transitions and make the relationship between each example and its paragraph’s main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a varied vocabulary, including “financial,” “opportunities,” “serenity,” “contentment,” and “supportive,” and these choices show an effort to discuss both material and emotional wellbeing. Some less common expressions are not used naturally or precisely, however. Phrases such as “financial support,” “contemporary happiness,” “fair amount of bucks,” and “real time contentment” make the meaning less clear or sound unsuitable for an academic essay. There are also spelling errors, including “balace,” “Italty,” “stablized,” and “imbalaced.” The reader can generally understand your ideas, but these noticeable word-choice and spelling problems limit precision. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations, and check spelling carefully; a smaller number of well-chosen expressions will be more effective than ornate wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “although,” “but,” and “where,” and the main argument is usually recoverable. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “all the public figure individuals and icons … has” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “one of my own relative who had recently gone through serious medical issues” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. The final sentence also combines “although” and “but” awkwardly. Practise building accurate sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses only when their grammatical relationship is clear. Check singular and plural forms and article use during revision.

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