Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals speak the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of deposit. Money is an important factor in people's life because essential needs are covered. for example, expensive health bills of family and to educated their children in good schools large amount of fees is required. Another, reason to be happy is spending time with your family and playing with your pets in free time.

Citizens with high amount of money always are in a good mood, due to fact that they can easily handle their problems related to medical emergencies. They can provide best possible care for their household in hospital, where advanced medical equipments are operating. The high fees of those places don't affect them. Additionally, Parents spend huge money on childrens schooling and find costly facilities for them. They want them to aquire all facilities to better personalities. For example, The ambani instution is very expensive school in mumbai, they provide best schooling.

Spending time with your loved ones can make you happy to a larger extend. People are joyful when they get some spare time with their family and enjoy their dinner together after comming back form work. Furthermore, pets are beautiful thing to make your soul happy. They help you in reducing stress, anxiety or a bad mood. for instance, Doctors suggest spending 20 minutes with pets will make your emotional state cheerful.

In conclusion, Money is a key factor for making people happy because you can give best medical and educational facilities for your family. However, spending time with family and pets enhance your mood .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains that money can pay for medical care and education, and identifies time with family and pets as other sources of happiness. The position is clear in the conclusion, which presents money as important but not the only contributor. The examples about medical emergencies, schooling, and the Ambani school help make the points relevant. However, the discussion of how money creates happiness is more developed than the alternative sources: family time and pets are mentioned, but their effects could be explained in greater depth and supported with more specific examples. To strengthen the response, explain more fully why these relationships or activities provide lasting happiness, rather than mainly listing benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces the topic, develops money-related benefits in one paragraph, discusses family and pets in another, and ends with a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal the progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Another, reason” does not smoothly connect the opening ideas, and the first paragraph moves quickly from financial needs to family time without a clear transition. Some references, such as “those places,” require the reader to infer that this means hospitals. Grouping related points more tightly and using clearer links between claims and examples would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main ideas, including “medical emergencies,” “advanced medical,” “schooling,” “reduce stress,” and “emotional state.” It also attempts more specific expressions, such as “essential needs” and “spare time.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “a lot of deposit” is not an appropriate way to refer to wealth, “high amount of money” is awkward, and “to a larger extend” is incorrectly formed. Spelling errors such as “aquire,” “comming,” and “instution” also weaken control. Build a more reliable range of natural collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There is some variety in sentence forms, including explanations with “because,” a relative clause in “where advanced medical equipments are operating,” and a conditional-style statement about spending time with pets. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “because essential needs are covered” lacks a clear subject, while “Parents spend huge money … and find costly facilities” has an unclear relationship between its clauses. Articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “pets are beautiful thing” and the lower-case sentence beginning “for instance.” Aim to produce more consistently accurate simple sentences first, then add complex clauses with clear subjects and correct verb forms.

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