Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that a lot of money is very important to be happy. A too much money can make people happy by fullfil their needs and hobbies. Nevertheless, there other things that make them feel happier such as, regular exercise, spend time with family and participate in group activities This essay will provide the both answers to questions.

Nowdays, people especially, yongster think that a lot of money make them happy .This is because young people may influeneced by social media and they often see the advertisement of branded clothes, electronics and fashion accesories. They always prefer to buy them to show off and get attention from others.This way, it helps them make happy and confident. For example, many individuals often perchase expensive cars or smartphones to show their lifestyles. In addition, some people want more money to fulfill their basic need and hobbies. They often think that without money, they cannot spend money on their needs and hobbies. For instance, people from middle-class family cannot study properly without enough money. Thus, having a lot of money can help them feel happier and motivated and help them achieve their goal.

However, there are many things in life make people happy. people can spend their time with thier family. spending time with their family makes them feel happy as well as improve their mood. For instance, people can spend time with them by family gathering, talking to each other, and having dinner together. It also gives them an opportunity to reduce their stress and feel enjoyed. Moreover, people should take participate in group activities in their colleges or schools, which helps them feel freshed and refreshed. Apart from this, they can do exercise and spend time in outdoor games which are beneficial for thier mental and physical well-being.

In conclusion, money can bring happiness in people lives by fullfil their basic needs and hobbies and achieve their education goal. Apart from this, there are many things such as spending quality time with family, doing regular exercising and prticipating in group activities make them ahppy and healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains how money may support needs, hobbies, education and status, then identifies family time, group activities and exercise as other sources of happiness. The position is clear, and examples such as buying expensive cars and having dinner together help make the points relevant. Some ideas are more fully explained than others: the discussion of social-media influence and showing off is developed, while the link between money and education is brief and not clearly connected to happiness. The second part also lists several activities but could explain more specifically how they create lasting happiness. To strengthen the response further, develop each main reason with a clearer explanation and a more precise example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides of the question, and a conclusion that summarises the main points. The progression from money-related benefits to non-financial sources of happiness is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Nevertheless,” “However,” and “In addition” help signal relationships. Some connections are mechanical or unclear, however. For example, “This essay will provide the both answers to questions” is an awkward signpost, and the transition from social-media status to basic needs could be smoother. There is also some repetition of “happy” and “spend time.” Use more precise referencing and vary transitions so that links between ideas feel natural rather than formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, and the response attempts relevant topic language such as “branded clothes,” “basic needs,” “group activities,” and “mental and physical well-being.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision: “fullfil,” “influenece,” “perchase,” “feel enjoyed,” and “take participate” are examples. Repetition of “money,” “happy,” and “spend time” also makes the expression less flexible. Aim to learn accurate word partnerships and use a wider set of terms for happiness and financial security. Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations would make the ideas clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple sentences and some attempts at complex structures, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “without.” Meaning is generally recoverable, but errors occur often enough to affect clarity and control. Examples include “A too much money can make people happy by fullfil their needs,” “there other things,” and “people especially, yongster think that a lot of money make them happy,” where articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction need attention. The sentence beginning “Moreover, people should take participate…” also has an incomplete grammatical pattern. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check articles, plural forms, agreement, and punctuation, especially where sentences run together.

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