Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, some individuals think that the best way to be happy in life is wealth. While others think that money cannot help all the time, there are also many things which are necessary rather than money, that make people happy.

To begin with, money is a crucial part of human life to keep necessities up to date. Wealth provides world-class facilities in the blink of an eye. Moreover, if person has enough wealth they can also help the community by providing essentials to needy people. Having excess money can help people to achieve their goals faster because they have access to resources that are not approachable by poor individuals. For example, the study shows that children of wealthy families are most successful in business due to their access to resources that are not available to others. Having money is a blessing if a person uses it wisely and for humankind to make the world better.

On the other hand, there are many other things in life which can make people happy. For example, family, good health and a clean environment. To elaborate, if a person has extreme wealth, he or she can go to a better hospital for a checkup but does not buy good health with money. Moreover, family is the most important thing in human life, anyone can survive poor conditions in life if they have a supportive family.

Overall, money is important

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AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: money can provide necessities, access to resources and opportunities to help others, while family and health are presented as other sources of happiness. The examples about wealthy children and supportive families are relevant, but they are asserted rather than explained, and the claim about business success is broad. The second part is less developed: a clean environment is listed but not discussed, and the response does not explain in much detail how money itself creates happiness. Your conclusion, “Overall, money is important,” is incomplete and does not clearly sum up your position. The response is also 14 words below the required minimum. Develop each main idea with explanation or a specific example, and finish with a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a contrasting paragraph about other sources of happiness, and an attempted conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “On the other hand” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the opening sentence beginning “While others think…” does not form a complete, clear contrast with the first clause. The final paragraph is only a fragment of a conclusion, followed by stray characters, so the essay does not reach a coherent ending. Improve progression by making the relationship between each point explicit and ensuring every paragraph, especially the conclusion, is complete.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “crucial,” “necessities,” “resources,” “supportive family,” and “community.” These choices allow you to discuss both material and non-material sources of happiness. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “in the blink of an eye” and “a blessing,” though these are not always the most precise or natural choices in this context. Phrases such as “keep necessities up to date” and “resources that are not approachable” show some imprecision in collocation, while repeated use of “money,” “wealth,” and “happy” limits variety. Aim for more natural topic-specific phrasing and use alternatives only where they fit the meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if a person uses it wisely” and “if they have a supportive family.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “if person has enough wealth” is missing an article, and “does not buy good health with money” has an unclear subject and structure. The opening contrast beginning “While others think…” is also an incomplete sentence, and “family is the most important thing in human life, anyone can survive…” joins two independent clauses with only a comma. Work on articles, complete sentence construction, and punctuation between clauses; these corrections would make your ideas easier to follow while preserving your range of structures.

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