Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people in world believe that wealth is key to happiness. Money can provide you comfortable and secure life But i believe that there are more other important factors their in life such as family, friends, good health, and inner calmness that can make people truly happy.

First and foremost, having large amount of money can give you happiness because you don't need to take financial stress. If people have a enough money, they don't worry about much for paying food, housing, education, health treatment. Rich people can fulfill their basic needs without any problem and afford luxurious life style. Money can increase the person's standard of living. Furthermore, it can also give you opportunities for having better education, advanced health care and safe housing. For example, a person who has high income job may able to take family for holidays in every year without worrying about money. It can also provide you financial freedom.

However, money can not provide you everything to make you happy. Strong relationship with family and friends are really essential in life. Spending time with people who care about you can provide emotional support during difficult time and make your time memorable. The true felling of being loved that you can not purchase from anywhere. Physical and mental health is extremely important but sometime you can't buy it with money. For example, Irfan khan died because of cancer. He was extremely wealthy but he can purchase health.

In conclusion, Money is very everything but people makes it everything. In my opinion, strong relationships, good health, and a meaningful life. These thing are more important for achieving long-term happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain how money can reduce financial stress and provide access to education, healthcare, housing and holidays, then identify relationships, health and a meaningful life as other sources of happiness. Your position is clear, especially in the opening and conclusion. The examples about taking family on holiday and Irfan Khan help make the points relevant, although the latter is not clearly explained and the claim that he “can purchase health” appears to contradict your intended point. Some ideas, such as inner calmness and a meaningful life, are named but not developed. To strengthen the response, explain these ideas with a specific reason or example and make the celebrity example accurate and directly relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a contrasting paragraph about non-financial sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “However” make the main progression easy to follow. This gives the essay a coherent arrangement, though some connections are mechanical and a few references are unclear. For instance, “The true felling of being loved that you can not purchase from anywhere” is not linked smoothly to the preceding sentence, while “These thing” in the conclusion has an unclear plural reference. Use complete sentences and clearer links between each claim and its explanation; this would make cohesion more flexible and the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial stress,” “financial freedom,” “emotional support,” “standard of living,” and “long-term happiness.” These phrases show some range beyond basic words. However, noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems sometimes make the meaning awkward or unclear: “a enough money,” “more other important factors,” “true felling,” and “he can purchase health” do not express the intended ideas accurately. “Money is very everything” is also unnatural. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms. For example, use “adequate income,” “other important factors,” “feeling of being loved,” and “health cannot always be bought.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “If people have a enough money, they don't worry…” and a relative clause in “people who care about you.” However, errors occur across sentence forms and sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include missing or incorrect articles (“a enough money”), subject–verb agreement (“Strong relationship … are”), and incomplete sentences such as “In my opinion, strong relationships, good health, and a meaningful life.” The opening also needs punctuation between “life” and “But,” and the final paragraph contains inconsistent sentence construction. Practise checking each sentence for a complete subject and verb, agreement, articles, and punctuation, while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.