Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

To survive in today's world one definitely need a money to fulfill their basc needs like food, clothing, shelter and more. People feel more happier and confident when they have a plenty of money rather than when they do not have any financial assistance. Whereas not only money but there are several other things which are also extremely important like a good health, peace of mind and many more. This essay analyses both views.

To begin with, people are not stressed when they are financially stable. They can make their lives much better with money. To illustrate, if an individual is having enough money, he or she can buys a car. It makes his or her life easier. A person can travel anytime without any restrictions. Similarly, if parents have funds in their account, they can provide the best education to their children. Overall, it brings happiness to the parents and their children.

On the other hand, only money cannot buy happiness. There are the various areas where rich people are still struggling even after having a lot of money. For example, if a person's health is not in a good condition having enough money cannot make him or her happy. Furthermore, many people are dealing with divorces, not having a peace of mind all these problems are not solved with money only.

To conclude, money is important to fulfill human's day-to-day needs and wants. But relying only on money for happiness is not true. Some things which money cannot buy is a good health, peace of mind and an optimistic family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear overall position: money can improve life by easing financial stress and paying for practical benefits, but it is not the only source of happiness. The examples of buying a car and funding children’s education are relevant and explain how money can help. You also identify health, peace of mind and family relationships as other sources of happiness. This meets the task well, while the discussion is not equally developed: the non-financial side is mostly asserted, and the point about divorce is not explained in detail. To strengthen the response, develop one or two examples of how relationships, health or personal fulfilment create happiness, and connect them more explicitly to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides and a conclusion. The progression from financial benefits to limits of money is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help guide the reader. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are abrupt. For example, the paragraph beginning “On the other hand” moves from health to divorce without explaining how these examples relate to one another. The opening also says the essay analyses “both views,” although the task asks two related questions rather than presenting opposing views. Use more precise transitions and develop clearer links between each example and the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “financially stable,” “financial assistance,” “peace of mind” and “optimistic.” There is some attempt to use topic-related language, but the range is limited and several choices or collocations sound unnatural, which keeps expression from being consistently precise. Examples include “a plenty of money,” “make their lives much better with money” and “dealing with divorces.” There is also a spelling error in “basc.” Aim to use more natural combinations and avoid repeating general words such as “money,” “things” and “problems.” More precise vocabulary would make the explanation clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and some longer structures, including conditional examples such as “if parents have funds in their account, they can provide…” The overall meaning remains clear, but errors in agreement, verb forms and articles occur in several places. For instance, “one definitely need” should be “one definitely needs,” and “he or she can buys” should be “he or she can buy.” The sentence “Some things which money cannot buy is…” also has a subject–verb agreement problem. Some sentence patterns are awkward or incomplete, particularly “many people are dealing with divorces, not having a peace of mind…” Practise checking each sentence’s subject and verb, and use a wider range of complex structures with accurate clause connections.

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