Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often aruged that money is most important factor in life to be happy. In what way, money will make people happy. Others think there will others aspects make them happy.

Futhermore, Some says others reasons like having a good healthy lifestyle and spending quality of time with family. Because the rich can't afford these things even though lots of money. The common man live very happy with low stressful life even though with low income since they move in a close circle.For example my grand father was doing farming in a village he's living habits are usual compared to my father always stressed about his business.

To conclude. People says, Money makes them more happy in life can buy anything. Others aruge that living happily with good health. i believe health is wealth money will come and go in life but health is essential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both sides of the question and give a clear personal view in the conclusion: money can buy things, while health is essential. The example about your grandfather and father also begins to support the idea that a less stressful life and close relationships can bring happiness. However, the response addresses the task only partially: it does not explain in a developed way how money itself may create happiness, and the alternative sources of happiness are mentioned briefly rather than explained. The opening questions do not establish a clear argument, and the conclusion introduces little development. The response is also 104 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to explain and support your ideas. Develop both parts with reasons and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening, a body paragraph and a conclusion, and the example about your relatives gives the body paragraph a point of reference. However, the progression between ideas is difficult to follow. The opening repeats the question rather than setting out a clear position, and “Futhermore” does not clearly connect the next point to what came before. The contrast between rich people and ordinary people is not fully explained, while “To conclude” is followed by several ideas that are not clearly linked. Some sentence boundaries and paragraph transitions also interrupt the flow. Use a clear paragraph for each part of the question, and connect each reason to an explanation or example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “healthy lifestyle,” “quality of time with family,” “low income,” and “stressed.” These choices help communicate the main ideas about health, family and financial circumstances. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make the response less clear, such as “aruged,” “Futhermore,” “aruge,” and “usual” in the description of your grandfather’s habits. Phrases such as “Others think there will others aspects” and “Money makes them more happy” are also awkward or imprecise. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary the language used to discuss financial security, relationships and wellbeing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including a reason clause with “since” and a comparison between your grandfather and father. However, sentence structures are limited, and errors in articles, agreement, verb forms and punctuation occur frequently enough to make some relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “money is most important factor” needs an article, while “The common man live” has a subject–verb agreement error. “Because the rich can't afford these things even though lots of money” is an incomplete sentence, and “he's living habits are usual” has an incorrect possessive form. Several full stops and commas are also misplaced. Practise building complete sentences and checking one grammatical feature at a time.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.