Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people argue that having huge amount of weath is the key of prosperity in life. Although money can improve standard of living and provide luxury, there are other factors such as good health, love and satisfaction contributing to happy and fulfilling life.

Wealth prosperity can brings happiness in life in various ways. Firstly, it raise standard of living and gives financial security. For example, a person having a lot of money can spend their money without worrying about expenditure and can live in luxurious house, travel in big car, eat healthy and wear an expensive ornaments. Morever, rich persons are always respected in society. Everybody bow the person who have money and they enjoys social status and recongnition which contributes to happiness.

On the other hand, along with money other factors are equally important to be happy in life. Money cannot guarantee happiness. For instance, a healthy person can enjoy his life to the fullest by travelling, eating or doing activity he desires but it's not feasible for unwell individual. Despite having lot of money, they always feel something missing and are not satisfied. Moreover, money can provide services and comfort but cannot buy love and loyalty, an individual's behaviour, personality, integration, moral values are the fundamentals to build trust between relationships.

In conclusion, there is no doubt that having substantial amount of money can make one's life comfortable and respectable but to achieve complete happiness other aspects of lives like love, relationship, good health contributes equally. One has to be satisfied with whatever they have.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear position: money can improve comfort and status, but health and relationships also contribute to happiness. The first body paragraph explains financial security and gives examples such as travel and a comfortable home; the second contrasts this with the limits of wealth and the value of health, love, and trust. These relevant points are extended with explanation, and the conclusion restates the central view. Some claims, such as “rich persons are always respected” and “Everybody bow” to wealthy people, are broad generalisations rather than carefully qualified support. Developing these points with a more specific example or acknowledging that wealth does not guarantee respect would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs explaining the benefits and limits of money, and a conclusion. The progression from financial security and social status to health and relationships is easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “For example,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. Some connections are less smooth: “Despite having lot of money, they always feel something missing” has an unclear reference, and the shift from health to love and loyalty in the same paragraph could be more carefully bridged. Aim to vary transitions and use precise references so that cohesion feels less formulaic and each paragraph develops one connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial security,” “social status,” “loyalty,” and “moral values,” and it attempts some less common expressions. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing awkward: “huge amount of weath,” “key of prosperity,” “travel in big car,” and “recongnition.” “Wealth prosperity” is also an unnatural combination, while “integration” does not clearly express the intended quality in relationships. These issues keep the vocabulary from being consistently precise, even though the main ideas remain understandable. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is an attempt to use both simple and complex structures, including the concession in “Although money can improve…” and the contrast introduced by “Despite having…”. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur repeatedly. Examples include “Wealth prosperity can brings,” “it raise,” “a healthy person can enjoy his life,” and “good health contributes equally” after a plural subject. The sentence beginning “Moreover, money can provide services…” also needs clearer grammatical organisation to connect its list of qualities to the main clause. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they limit control and make some sentences awkward. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and article use, and revise complex sentences for a clear subject and verb.

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