Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this fast- pased and competitive epoch, Money has become an integral part of everyone's life, by providing all the needy things. Nevertheless, different people have their identical mindset to think about whether having money is the considerable method to be happy in life, and some plausible reasons despite money what others commodities to make people happy.

To commence with, there are numerous reasons why money plays a vital role in human's life. First and foremost, it has made people's life more easy and convenient. This is mainy because the need of everyone's have been increasing slightly since the introduction of modern gadgets, people may stop doing their single task by hand and try to purchase new technical gadgets to finish their household and office work. As a result, it has made people life easier than past, without monry they cannot go ahead in this technical world. For example, if person is hospitalized due to some health issues, without paying the full amount on reception, he may not be discharged from hospital.

On the other hand, although money is necessary to fulfill all kinds of needs including, grocery, education and many more, other things can also bring happiness and joys in human lives. No doubt, relationships are also very imperative, these provide sense of security and protection during tough time that would be possible while having a good bonding with everyone. Apart from that, some people feel happy with having a lot of dresses and shoes.

In conclusion, money is vital in life but others things like, parents, suits, shoes many things can bring joys in everyone's life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: money is linked to convenience, technology and access to hospital care, while relationships and possessions are offered as other sources of happiness. The hospital example helps illustrate why money can matter, and your position that it is important but not the only source of happiness is apparent. However, the explanation of how money creates happiness is narrow, and the point about clothes and shoes is asserted rather than explained. The opening also refers to “other commodities” without clearly identifying them. Develop each main idea with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and a relevant example, and make the distinction between meeting needs and achieving lasting happiness more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about money, a paragraph about other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. Overall, the ideas can be followed, but some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, the sentence about modern gadgets moves from increasing needs to stopping manual tasks without a clear explanation of the connection. The final paragraph also lists “parents, suits, shoes” rather than drawing together the main points. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and organise each body paragraph around one developed central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “integral,” “convenient,” “technical gadgets,” “sense of security,” and “bonding.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, as in “identical mindset,” “considerable method,” “needy things,” and “human's life.” Spelling errors such as “pased,” “mainy,” and “monry” are also noticeable and can distract the reader. Some expressions are repeated or imprecise, particularly “many more” and “things.” Build a more reliable set of natural phrases for discussing needs, wellbeing and relationships, and check spelling and word forms carefully. Greater accuracy with familiar vocabulary would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if person is hospitalized” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “the need of everyone's have been increasing” has problems with subject structure and agreement, while “it has made people life easier than past” lacks appropriate grammatical forms and articles. There are also issues with sentence boundaries and punctuation, especially in the long sentence about gadgets. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected subordinate clause, then check articles, possessives, agreement and punctuation.

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