Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The defination of happiness is relatively different for every person. Some people consider having remarkable money/cash is the main source of happiness. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I have discussed the reasons behind this view with suitable justifications, and also, I have shared other ways of being happy.

One of the major reason why money is considered as a way to achieve happiness is that, in this contamporary era, it is the essential factor in everybody's life for living the best materialistic life. From fulfilling the basic requirements to purchasing luxurious things, disposible income is the most common factor. Having substantial savings provide a security and enable the buying capacities of individuals'; expensive cars, lavish accommodation, frequent domestic or international trips, jewellery, certainly increases the level of happiness in people.

Nevertheless, such soul satisfying experiences cannot be bought by money. For some people, friendship, family, partner, hobbies, work matter more than experiencing expensive materialisting things. Having a peaceful dinner with loved ones is the highlight for a few people's day, even though, eating in a cheaper dish or residing in a small apartement. After stressfull day, having a person, with whom an individual can share their inner thoughts without getting judged by the proponent, is presicious. Besides, some workoholic people never think about earning more money, rather than focussing on their work in perticular field.

To recapitulate, the meaning of money differs from one person to another. It is clear that money is essential to meet basic requirements, yet, it cannot be the main reason of happiness for some people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: money can provide material comforts and security, while relationships, hobbies and meaningful work can also bring happiness. The examples of savings, travel and sharing thoughts with a trusted person make the discussion relevant, and your conclusion restates a clear overall view. The response also shows some of the development expected at a stronger level, particularly in explaining how money meets needs and enables purchases. However, the non-financial sources are less fully explained, and the point about work-focused people is brief and not clearly connected to happiness. Develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example, and make the distinction between money’s benefits and its limits more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides of the discussion, and a concluding summary. The progression from money’s practical benefits to relationships and other sources of fulfilment is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Nevertheless,” “Besides,” and “To recapitulate” help signal these stages, and the central contrast is maintained. To make the organisation more polished, ensure that each paragraph develops one clear line of reasoning: the final point about work-focused people feels added rather than fully integrated. Some transitions are also slightly mechanical, so use linking language where it clarifies the relationship between ideas rather than simply marking a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “substantial savings,” “basic requirements,” “lavish accommodation,” and “inner thoughts.” These choices show an attempt to use more specific and less common language, and the meaning is generally clear. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “remarkable money/cash,” “buying capacities,” and “soul satisfying experiences.” There are also spelling errors, including “defination,” “contamporary,” and “presicious,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; simpler, precise wording is more effective than an ambitious phrase that does not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning “why money is considered” and “even though,” as well as a concluding contrast with “yet.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors affect accuracy. For example, “One of the major reason” has a singular/plural agreement problem, and “Having substantial savings provide” does not agree in number. The sentence listing purchases also has faulty punctuation and an unclear structure: “individuals'; expensive cars…” Revise sentences for agreement, articles and punctuation, and break up long constructions when needed. Greater control of these patterns would make your varied sentence forms more consistently clear.

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