Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Money plays an essential role in the modern era because of inflation is increasing day by day. It is often argued by a small propertion of people that money is a significant way to be happy. I largely disagree with this view due to some reasons such as strong relationships or family support, good health, social interaction with friends all are important to be happy that i will expain in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, strong bond with family and physical health both are povital for happy life. This is because nowadays everyone is busy in making money but they do not have time for their family and loved ones. Due to this, they face some family problems such as they are unable to talk easily with their family members, also they do not involve any festival, special occasions which lead to lack of social connection. Moreover, people have a hectic schedule and they always busy in work and other things as they do not have time for themselves. Sometimes, they can face some serious health problems. Therefore, people should spend their quality time with their loved ones and with this they can share their problems and can make their connections strong.

Furthermore, social interaction plays a crucial role in our lives. Due to this, sometimes people face some difficulties regarding their work, health and personal problems. That time they can get help from their friends easily without any hesitation. Also, they can share their ideas, views with them and can get good suggestion which make them more happy. For instance, people face serious medical issue and they need help, so they can get help from friends because only money is not benefical, good friends also matter. Thus, these are some reasons that can be helpful for people to be happy, not only money.

In conclusion, although money can solve some financial problems and people can buy anything by money, social connections, family bond and better health all are superior for happy life. Everything has its own importance, so people have many other causes to be happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall position: money can help with financial problems, but relationships, family support and health matter more. This responds to the question about other sources of happiness, and the examples about sharing problems with family and receiving help from friends are relevant. However, the first part of the prompt—how having a lot of money might make people happy—is only briefly addressed in the conclusion, where you say people can buy things and solve financial problems. Develop this side in a body paragraph, for example by explaining how money can provide security, access to healthcare or opportunities for enjoyable experiences. Some supporting points, such as the effects of busy schedules, are also asserted rather than fully explained, so the response addresses the task only partially and ideas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs focused on non-financial sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The progression from family and health to friendship is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the argument. This is a coherent structure, with some features of stronger organisation. However, links can feel mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Due to this” and “Also,” and some references are unclear: “That time” does not identify a specific situation, while “these are some reasons” refers broadly to several ideas. Use a wider range of linking methods and make connections between claims and examples more explicit to create smoother progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “strong relationships,” “social interaction,” “hectic schedule” and “quality time.” These phrases help communicate the main ideas, and attempts such as “plays a crucial role” show some willingness to use less common expressions. However, several inaccurate or unnatural choices reduce precision: “small propertion of people,” “povital,” “good suggestion,” and “benefical” are either misspelled or poorly formed. There is also repetition of general words such as “help,” “happy” and “problems,” which limits flexibility. Aim to check spelling and collocations, and choose more precise alternatives—for example, distinguish financial security from material purchases and describe the specific support friends provide.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “as” and “although.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and the conclusion uses a clear concessive structure. Some grammatical errors occur, however. The opening sentence needs a clearer construction (“because of inflation increasing” or “because inflation is increasing”), and “everyone … do not have time” has a subject–verb agreement problem. Other examples include “they always busy” and “they do not involve any festival,” where the verb patterns are incomplete or inaccurate. Several long sentences also join multiple ideas without clear punctuation, especially in the introduction and the first body paragraph. Review agreement, articles and verb patterns, and divide overloaded sentences to improve control.

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