Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Although some people might say that the main way to remain happy in one's life is to have a lot of money, however, the way in which money can lead to happiness or the role of other factors in a person's overall happiness is a debate that might be supported differently by everyone depending on their circumstances. I hereby shall give my reasons for in the support of each factor.

This is not an alien concept that how money has the power to drastically change someones' life and usually for the better as the key to one's material comfort and mental satissfaction usually starts with the fulfilment of basic necessities. A prime example of the fact are such families that struggle to afford the basic necessities of their lives and resultingly, the chance that they would consider any other factor as a contributor to their happiness is usually seldom. In my opinion, such people life their entire lives on survival mode.

However, it is also evident to note that the crux of human nature and its purpose and satisfaction is the idea of pursuit. In order to keep going, people set a goal for themselves and spent their lives in the pursuit of that goal. And, once that goal is achieved, in this case as we consider financial stability, it takes out the joy of the true meaning of life. Here we can consider the example of the ultra wealthy people in our society that often complain of such dissatisfaction and unhappiness which ultimately forces them to resort to unatural means to get that high again.

Also we need to consider the importance of human companionship and connection that have no possible replacement in someone's life let alone just money just as we all know that no amount of money in this world can bring back your loved one.

Considering the above debate, I would say that the main contributor to ones happiness depends upon the element lacking in their lives and the priorities they decide, that usually vary from person to person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: money is linked to meeting basic needs and financial stability, while companionship and personal priorities are presented as other sources of happiness. Your position—that happiness depends on what is missing from a person’s life—is clear in the conclusion. The examples of families struggling to afford necessities and wealthy people experiencing dissatisfaction are relevant, but the latter is asserted rather than explained, and the discussion of how money itself can create happiness could be more specific. The point about companionship is also brief. To develop the response further, explain the effects of financial security, such as reduced stress or access to healthcare, and extend the non-financial examples with reasons or detail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on money and other influences, and a concluding position. Paragraphing helps distinguish the main ideas, and transitions such as “However” and “Also” signal shifts in focus. At times, though, the progression is less smooth because several ideas are compressed into long sentences, and some links between claims are not fully explained. For example, the move from achieving financial stability to losing “the joy of the true meaning of life” needs a clearer connection. The opening also uses “Although” and “however” together, making the relationship between clauses awkward. Use simpler transitions where appropriate and make each paragraph develop one central point in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt less common expressions, including “material comfort,” “financial stability,” “pursuit,” and “human companionship.” These choices help communicate the topic, although some are not natural or precise in context. For instance, “mental satissfaction” is misspelled, “life on survival mode” is informal, and “resort to unatural means to get that high again” is vague and potentially unclear. There are also awkward combinations such as “the crux of human nature and its purpose and satisfaction.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main ideas, but more accurate collocations and a consistent academic tone would strengthen the response. Prefer direct, familiar phrasing when a more elaborate expression is difficult to control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses and conditional-style reasoning, and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction and agreement. The opening combines “Although” with “however,” creating an incomplete or awkwardly joined structure; “the fact are such families” has a subject–verb agreement problem; and “people set a goal for themselves and spent their lives” shifts tense inconsistently. In “the importance of human companionship and connection that have no possible replacement,” the relative clause does not agree clearly with its antecedent. Review clause boundaries, agreement, and consistent tense, and break up sentences that contain several linked claims. This will make your varied structures more controlled and easier to follow.

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