Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Money has been considered by many people as a necessity to lead a happy and prosperous life. Many people agree that the presence of money gives them the liberty to purchase anything they desire. However, there are certain other things, like self-contentment and peace of mind, that are equally important to achieve happiness in life.

People who support the idea that having a lot of money is a prerequisite to achieve happiness argue that presence of money allows people to buy things and travel to places,they have always dremt of. To illustrate, my friend, who is a rich businessman, bought Rolls Royce car which gave him so much happiness. Moreover, having financial assets imparts a sense of future security and comfort. For example, people feel less anxious about future living arrangements when they have ample monetary funds.

Although money is crucial to achieve a prosperous life, there are certain other things that are also essential for a happy life. Firstly, self-contentment is the most important ingredient to achieve peace of mind. People who have the greed of having more money can never be truly satisfied in their lives. Secondly, the presence of family relations is indespensible for a joyful life. Family members provide moral and emotional support to each other in times of need. For instance, I have never seen my father enjoying his life to the fullest after the death of his parents. He often craves his parent's company to share his feelings and problems.

In conclusion,while monetary gains are paramount to lead a happy life, the importance of self-contentment and the presence of loved ones in this journey of life cannot be denied either.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear position: money can bring happiness through purchases, travel and financial security, while contentment and family relationships also matter. The Rolls-Royce example illustrates the pleasure of buying something desirable, and the discussion of your father gives a personal example of the value of family. These ideas are relevant and generally extended with reasons or examples. To make the response more fully developed, explain more precisely how financial security contributes to happiness, and qualify the claim that people who want more money “can never be truly satisfied,” which is broad. A more balanced explanation of when money helps—and where its benefits may be limited—would strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction presents the two sides, the body paragraphs develop money and non-financial sources of happiness, and the conclusion restates the position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “Firstly,” and “Secondly” help readers follow the sequence. The ideas within each paragraph are generally connected logically, including the link between family support and your father’s grief. At times, however, the transitions feel somewhat formulaic, and the conclusion largely repeats the introduction rather than drawing the two strands together. Use a wider range of natural links between claims and examples, and make references such as “these things” or “this journey” more specific where needed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonably varied vocabulary, including topic-appropriate expressions such as “financial assets,” “future security,” “self-contentment,” and “moral and emotional support.” This gives the response some flexibility and a suitably formal tone. However, several choices or collocations are inaccurate or less natural: “the presence of money” is repeated, “a prerequisite to achieve happiness” is awkward, and “the greed of having more money” does not express the idea naturally. There are also spelling errors in “dremt” and “indespensible,” which should be corrected to “dreamt” and “indispensable.” Aim for precise, idiomatic phrasing rather than relying on elevated expressions that do not quite fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

The response includes a mix of simple and complex structures, such as the relative clause in “my friend, who is a rich businessman,” and the subordinate clause beginning “when they have ample monetary funds.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. Some grammatical and punctuation errors remain, however. In “places,they,” a space is needed after the comma; “In conclusion,while” also needs a space. The phrase “people who have the greed of having more money” has an awkward grammatical construction, and “after the death of his parents” would be more naturally expressed as “after his parents’ death.” Check punctuation spacing and revise sentence patterns that make relationships between ideas unclear. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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