Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few people think that the best way to be glad in life is having a lot of wealth. Money don't buy happiness. while other says that there are numerous other thing which make people's life happy.

To begin with,There are several reasons that some people believe that having a wonderfful life means having a lot of noney. Firstly, with lots of cash people can buy anything in the world. They can buy anything they would like purchase. They also rent or buy a luxurious palace to enjoy with family or friends. the another thing is sometimes rich people purchase something to tease a particular person who cannot afford. Moreover, wealthy people likes to earn more and more to beat their competitiors. Having enough money can reduce financial stress and provide security for future.

However, There are numerous things in life which makes people delighted. First and foremost, the people who are not rich they live more happily life rather than rich people because they have time to spend with their families and their children which make people loved and supported. Also, good health is also important because people cannot fully enjoy their lives if they are suffering from some serious illnesses. In addition, achieving personal goals, helping others and having a satisfying job can give people a sense of achievement and happiness.For example, People living in rural areas can lead a happy life even if they do not earn a lot of money. For example, they can spend quality time with their families, grow fresh vegetables, look after animals and enjoy a peaceful environment. They often have strong relationships with their neighbours and help each other during difficult times. Therefore, happiness does not always depend on money.

In my opinion, money is important because it provides comfort and security. However it cannot gurantee happiness. people also need godd health, loving relationships and peace of mind t

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question and gives a clear overall view: money can provide comfort and security, but happiness also comes from health, relationships and meaningful activities. The explanation of money includes purchasing goods and reducing financial stress, while the rural-life example supports the point that happiness need not depend on wealth. This meets the task well, and the range of relevant ideas shows some movement towards fuller development. However, a few points are asserted rather than explained: for instance, buying things “to tease” someone and earning more to beat competitors are not clearly connected to lasting happiness. Develop these links and support the main ideas more consistently to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a paragraph about other sources of happiness, and a concluding opinion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal the progression. However, some linking is mechanical, and the opening sentence is difficult to follow because it shifts abruptly from one view to another. The second body paragraph also repeats “For example” and moves from general claims about poorer people to a rural example without a smooth transition. The conclusion is cut off, which weakens the sense of closure. Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example directly to its claim, and check that the final paragraph completes the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “financial stress,” “security,” “personal goals,” “sense of achievement,” and “peaceful environment.” These phrases help express the topic, but the overall range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. Examples include “glad in life,” “wonderfful life,” “luxurious palace,” and “live more happily life”; these make parts of the message less natural and occasionally harder to interpret. Spelling errors such as “noney,” “competitiors,” and “gurantee” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for wealth and wellbeing, and proofread spelling and word forms. Avoid repeating “buy anything” when a more specific example would add meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There are attempts to use both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “which,” and “even if.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “Money don't buy happiness” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the people who are not rich they live” uses an unnecessary repeated subject. Other issues include “the another thing,” “people likes,” and missing sentence boundaries or capitals after full stops. The final sentence is incomplete, leaving the conclusion grammatically unfinished. Practise agreement, articles, clause structure and punctuation, then proofread each sentence to ensure it has a complete and correctly connected structure.

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