Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, Money become a important role of life. Therefore some people believe that having a lot of money, is a best way to be a happy in the life. However, there are some other thing, contributes to make life happy. How money and other things work in the life ? will be discussed in the following.

To begin with, money can help to buy a high standard of living without stress and other burdens such as working everyday and thinking before buying any particular products. People with money can buy luxury items which they may dreamed of such as car, plane , house and what not, but doing these things are not possible without money. In addition, individuals can stay more healthy and live longer with the help of money, because money enable them to spend highest amount on healthy diet, even can get expensive treatments to live long life. For example, rich people have there own Nutritionist or Dietitian and couch for everyday workoutunlike normal people, because the prize of these professionals are not affordable without money.

On the other hand, there are some other things should be in everyone's life such as friends and family. To make friends and having a good family, individuals do not need money and without this thing, people cannot survive because according to science humans need connections and someone with whom we can share emotional bond in order to keep our metal health stable. This think make our life happy and effortless.

In conculsion, based on aforementioned reasons, money is important for people, but not only money make people happy, others things also worked as important as money to keep our life happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear overall view: money can improve living standards and access to healthcare, while relationships also contribute to happiness. The examples of luxury purchases and paid health professionals support the first part, and the discussion of emotional connection responds to the second. This coverage is relevant and gives the essay a sound foundation. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that money reduces the burden of working every day is not clearly connected to how wealth achieves this, and the family-and-friends point would benefit from a specific example. More balanced development and clearer explanation of each cause-and-effect link would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and relationships, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with” and “On the other hand” help signal the main stages, and the reader can follow the central contrast. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The opening question, “How money and other things work in the life ? will be discussed,” is an awkward transition, while “This think” does not clearly identify which idea it refers to. The conclusion also repeats the main claim without drawing the two strands together. Use clearer referencing and link each supporting sentence explicitly to the paragraph’s main point to make progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “standard of living,” “luxury items,” “expensive treatments,” and “emotional bond.” These choices show an attempt to go beyond very basic wording and generally make the intended ideas understandable. However, noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, word form, and spelling reduce precision: examples include “a important role,” “a best way,” “metal health,” “prize,” and “couch” where a different word is intended. Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “highest amount on healthy diet.” Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms; this will make the vocabulary more reliable and less distracting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a contrast introduced by “but.” The main ideas are usually recoverable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors occur across sentence patterns. For example, “Money become a important role” has problems with the verb, article, and construction; “there are some other thing, contributes” has faulty agreement and clause structure; and “money enable them” does not agree with its subject. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention, particularly in the opening question and the long sentence beginning “For example.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and complete sentence construction before adding more complex clauses.

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