Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, an increasing number of people believe that a significant reason of happiness is to have a lot of money. Although, having money can be one of the reasons of happiness, there are another factors can cause the same feeling.

Money has the power to make people happy due to some reasons. Firstly, having money can decrease the feeling with unsecured feeling. people pay a big amount of money in annual security system subscription that protect their properties. Some people's priority is secure their family from outside hazard or financial secure such as, providing what they need from education and life essentianeede. Also, Money can pay their fun trips that play an important role to make people happy through travelling to different country, watching new culture, and try new things.

However, there are another factors in life that can make people happy. Being in a good health does not require money to make people happy. Persons who are suffering from kind of disease are not happy as much as people in a good health. some diseases do not have medicines which let the patients feeling helpless to use their money. In addition, having family and friendly environment to live in can consider one of the main reasons of happiness. This is beacuse, family members have the ability to support many of the psychology issue that may be faced during the daily life. For instance, gathering family, discussuion, and learing from other experiences could be an effective way of pressure relief.

In conclusion,having money can make people happy with providing luxury life that meets most of their needs. However, having a good health to live between a caring family is pricesless according to its effect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear overall view: money can provide security and enjoyable travel, while health and supportive relationships also contribute to happiness. The examples of paying for home security, meeting a family’s needs, and travelling are relevant. The discussion of health and family support is also pertinent, particularly the example of family gatherings as a way to relieve pressure. This meets the task well, though some ideas are more fully explained than others: the point about money and security is developed with examples, whereas the claim that good health does not require money is asserted rather than explored. To strengthen the response further, explain more precisely how each factor affects happiness and connect examples directly to that effect.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph explaining how money may help, a contrasting paragraph on other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “Firstly,” “Also,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow. The contrast between financial security and health or family support is clear. However, some linking is mechanical, and a few connections between sentences are not fully smooth. For example, the move from security to travel in the money paragraph is abrupt, while “This is because” introduces a broad explanation that could be tied more clearly to the preceding claim. Use referencing and transitions more naturally, and organise each body paragraph around a clear main idea with supporting explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main ideas, including “security system,” “financial,” “disease,” “support,” and “pressure relief.” It also attempts some less common expressions, such as “outside hazard” and “financial secure,” but these are not used accurately or naturally. Noticeable word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling problems sometimes make the reader pause: “a significant reason of happiness,” “feeling with unsecured feeling,” “psychology issue,” and “pricesless” are examples. The range is also somewhat repetitive, particularly around “money,” “happy,” and “family.” Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms; for instance, use “a source of happiness,” “financial security,” and “psychological problems.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although, having money can be one of the reasons…” and a relative clause in “diseases which let the patients…”. The main ideas are generally understandable, but control is inconsistent, especially in longer sentences. Examples include “there are another factors can cause,” which lacks a grammatical link between the clauses, and “family members have the ability to support many of the … issue,” where the sentence structure and agreement are faulty. Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “a good health” and “In conclusion,having.” Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear clause boundaries, and proofread for agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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