Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In 21st century, individuals think that having wealth by their side is the prime thing to be joyful in life. It is undeniable that money plays a vital role for any human being but that is not the sole factor to be happy. It is one of the most debatable issue in the western world.

To commence with, currency gives so much comfort. There is a saying that "It is better to cry in a Mercedez than on a bicycle." There is no doubt that welath can solve so many problems which are generally faced by poor people. It gives confidence to the human having it. Funds give freedom for living a luxurious life. To examplify, a rich person can spend money on leisure activities or on buying luxury items.To elaborate, rich uses their money to go on vacations and even buy costly shoes, watches and cloths.Not only these they show off by purchasing different high valued cars. The impact of this kind of show off is that normal persons feel insecure and jealous but wealthy persons do not care.

However, many researches conducted internationally on human psychology have consistently found that 60% of rich people are not happy with their life. It is so because though money is significant but mental peace and inner happiness are more crucial for overall health. A person who is satisfied with his life without being greedy for more money than required is actually happier than a rich person worrying about only business and not paying attention to his health and family life.

To conclude, Capital and funds are crucial for living a better life but having a mental peace, good health and family support plays a vital role for being truly happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear overall view: money can provide comfort and choice, but it is not the only source of happiness. The examples of vacations and luxury purchases explain how wealth may bring enjoyment, while the discussion of mental peace, health and family support covers other sources. However, the money-related ideas receive more explanation than the alternatives, and claims such as “60% of rich people are not happy” are presented without support. The point about wealthy people showing off and others feeling jealous is also less directly connected to how money makes its owners happy. Develop the non-financial sources with specific examples and explain the link between each example and happiness more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a contrasting paragraph about non-financial happiness, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “To commence with,” “However,” and “To conclude” make the main stages easy to follow, and the central contrast is apparent. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some stronger control through paragraphing and progression. At times, though, linking feels mechanical, and several ideas in the money paragraph are added in a list-like sequence. The references in “The impact of this kind of show off” and “they show off” could also be clearer. Group related points and use more precise referencing and transitions to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “luxurious life,” “leisure activities,” “mental peace,” and “overall health.” It also attempts less common or formal expressions such as “prime thing” and “inner happiness,” showing an effort to vary word choice. However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including “wealth by their side,” “currency gives so much comfort,” and “rich uses their money.” Spelling errors such as “welath,” “Mercedez,” “examplify,” and “cloths” also reduce accuracy, although the intended meaning is generally clear. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “financial security” rather than “currency gives comfort.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including the contrast in “though money is significant but mental peace and inner happiness are more crucial” and the relative clause “a person who is satisfied with his life.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “It is one of the most debatable issue” has a number-agreement error, while “rich uses their money” has an unclear subject and agreement. The sentence beginning “Not only these” is also awkwardly constructed, and punctuation is missing before “To elaborate” and after “items.” Work on articles, singular and plural agreement, and sentence boundaries. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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