Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Happiness make life meaningfull. Some proponents say that money is the most vital thing to stay happy while other oppose this idology by giving important to another things in life. I will shed life on both the views along with my oppion in the upcoming peragrphs.

According to the former idology, it is apprehend that with lots of money people can get lots of happiness in their life as they can spend their money on buying expensive thing like gold and quality products in their life and can compete to the scocial oriented society that ultimately give them satisfections. Another noteworthy point of consideration is that rich personality can spend it on exploring the world and get break from their hectic schedual that can contribute to break their daily monotony and act as stress buster for them. Furthermore, person with lost of money can utilize it on celebrating the cultural and wedding fuctions with large gathering therefore it is the important way to cherish the memory in future.

According to the later idology, it is calimed that there are myraid of others ways to stay elate as staying happily with the family members can add benifit to share problems with each others and and supports the beloved once during heir upheavals. On top of its, getting infallible advice from the seniors that can helps to motivate the youngers to save money for future and do not sqendere it on unusall things resulting to make them to know the power of saving money. Last but not lest, the value of good health can only Know the ill person therefor, be active and energetic person can do anythings in heir life and they can earn lots of money with the hardwork and gain happiness in their life.

To recapitulate, I would recommned that people should adopt a sagacious appraoch towards satying happy by saving the money for future in order to gain holistic growth with respplendent walk of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both questions: it explains that money can provide access to expensive goods, travel and celebrations, then identifies family support, advice and health as other sources of happiness. The final recommendation to save money also gives a general position. However, the discussion is only partly developed: for example, the point about buying gold and competing in society is asserted rather than explained, and the advice from seniors is not clearly connected to happiness. The opening promises to discuss both views, although the task asks how money may bring happiness and what else can do so. Make your position more direct and develop each main idea with a clear explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph about money, one about other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Furthermore,” “On top of this,” and “To recapitulate” helps readers follow the broad progression, which is a strength. To make the organisation more effective, ensure that each supporting point connects clearly to the paragraph’s main idea. The discussion of seniors’ advice shifts towards saving money rather than explaining how advice itself creates happiness, and the final sentence introduces several ideas at once. Some linking phrases also feel formulaic. Use clearer topic sentences and transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas, and make references such as “the former ideology” easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “stress buster,” “daily monotony,” “upheavals,” and “holistic growth.” This shows an effort to use less common language, but many choices are inaccurate, misspelled or unnatural, and they sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “shed life on” for “shed light on,” “rich personality” for a wealthy person, and “stay elate” for “feel happy.” There are also repeated spelling errors, such as “idology,” “satisfections,” and “schedual.” Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than ornate wording. Check spelling carefully and choose familiar expressions when you are unsure of a more ambitious phrase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences with subordinate clauses, for example the sentence beginning “Another noteworthy point of consideration is that…” and the sentence about family members sharing problems. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to process. In “rich personality can spend it,” the article and pronoun reference are unclear; “that can helps” has incorrect verb agreement; and “people can get lots of happiness… as they can spend their money” contains awkward clause construction. There are also problems with plurals and sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and whether each sentence has a clear grammatical structure.

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