Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there are numerous people think only way to be happy in their life is to have a lot of money. They can buy many things which they will provide a happiness but some people still they will not be happy. There are lots of things give to people pleasant without money. In this essay, I will discuss about happiness relationship between financial situations.

Firstly, Indivudials have dreams about to be reach to high-income level. They believe that, when they have too much money, their mind will be change easily which can be possible for some people but it can not be same for everyone. Depends on, how you spent your savings. If you waste money for unnecessary things, you will not be happy for long term. On the other hands, when low- income families wish to have a house it will assist to be happy. For instance, male and female might be have a happy from different items, a luxury car can make a happy any men and any diamonds can able to satisfy women.

Secondly, In developed countries, there are many unhappy wealthy individuals. Main reason is financial things always cannot provide a.satisfaction. It can help to be a happy but not totaly. For example, in the United States, many well-known people have mental problems because of they do not have friends or partners to share information, spent a times or waste a money which can assit to be happy. Hence, in my opinion ony finacial situation could not make a feel better if you do not have anyone around you. For example, if we ask to child what makes you happy he will say a bicycle which is easy to buy it. That's why there is no totaly relationship between money and to be happy.

To sum up, people think if they have more savings, they will be happy but this things will not be for long term. From my perspective, how you purchase your money. When you use for logically you can be too satisfy. Generally, happiness can be different for everyone. Aduls can be happy from expensive things but kids can be satisfied from afoordable items.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: money may allow people to buy desired items or meet major needs, while relationships and companionship can also contribute to happiness. The example of a low-income family wanting a house is relevant, as is the point that wealthy people may lack friends or partners. However, these ideas are often asserted rather than explained, and some examples—such as men being made happy by luxury cars and women by diamonds—are over-generalised and do not clearly show how money creates lasting happiness. Your position that money alone is insufficient is present, but the introduction’s promise to discuss the relationship between finances and happiness is vague. Develop each reason with clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from income and spending to gendered examples without clearly connecting them. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, including “On the other hands” and “Hence,” where the relationship between ideas is not fully clear. References such as “this things” also make it harder to identify exactly what you mean. Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “high-income level,” “savings,” “unhappy wealthy individuals,” and “mental problems.” This gives you enough language to communicate the general subject, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, sometimes making meaning unclear. Examples include “provide a happiness,” “a.satisfaction,” “spent a times,” and “purchase your money.” There are also spelling errors such as “Indivudials,” “totaly,” and “afoordable.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for financial security, material possessions, companionship, and emotional well-being would help you express your ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If you waste money for unnecessary things” and a contrast introduced by “when.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to understand. For example, “there are numerous people think” needs a relative clause or a different construction, while “their mind will be change” has an incorrect verb form. Other problems include “male and female might be have” and “if we ask to child.” Articles, agreement, and sentence construction also need attention. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed subordinate clause, then check verb forms and articles.

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