Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people proritize money to satisfy themselves in their life. Undoubtedely, wealth make citizens feel happy. However, job satisfaction and spending quality time also contributes in experiencing pleasure.

People find themselves secured, when they become financially strong. They pay all their expenses without any worry and their all dreams becomes attainable for them to achieve. For example, going abroad on special occasions would no longer be a dream for rich people, as they could afford going to expensive places. This would not only make them feel glad, but they would also get a chance to explore innovative things. Moreover, an individual with a lot of money could support their family and friends. During a daunting situations wealthy people feel happy to help others by assisting them with money. Therefore, they feel proud on themselves and also support social work activities.

There are other things other than money which is equally important to help a person become happy. Firstly, a positive job environment makes people feel realxed. An individual grows at the workplace, when the targets are met easily at workplace, receives appreciation for his work and gets bonus. Consequently, people never feel fatigued even after doing hardwork at the workplace. Furthermore, bonding time also makes an individual feel excited. People gets emotional support, when they share their sorrow and happy moments with their loved ones. For instance, people feel happy, when their close relative and friends become part of their special occasions. Therefore, the bond becomes more stronger.

To conclude, although money helps to pay off all the expenses and become a backup system for closed ones, career contentment and family time are other factors which make people feel glad.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear overall position: money can provide security and opportunities, while work and close relationships also contribute to happiness. The financial benefits are supported with relevant examples, such as affording travel and helping family or friends. You also explain how appreciation at work and sharing important moments with loved ones can bring satisfaction. These ideas are relevant and extended, although some points remain general: for example, the link between meeting workplace targets and feeling relaxed could be explained more clearly, and the benefits of travel are not explored beyond discovering new things. A more specific example or explanation for each main point would make the support more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from the benefits of money to other sources of happiness and then to a conclusion. The progression within the body paragraphs is generally logical, and signposting such as “Moreover,” “Firstly,” and “Furthermore” helps readers follow the argument. The conclusion also brings the two sides together. Cohesive devices are used flexibly overall, though some links feel repetitive or mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Therefore” and “For example.” A few references could be clearer: “their all dreams” and “the targets” do not point to a fully specified person or situation. Varying transitions and making references more explicit would make the flow smoother and more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss financial security, work, and relationships, including phrases such as “financially strong,” “emotional support,” and “career contentment.” There are also attempts at less common language, such as “daunting situations” and “attainable,” showing a willingness to use more precise vocabulary. However, some choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “innovative things,” “feel proud on themselves,” and “bonding time.” Spelling errors such as “proritize,” “Undoubtedely,” and “realxed” also reduce accuracy. Choose familiar, natural collocations when unsure, and proofread spelling; this will help your vocabulary sound more fluent and precise without requiring more complicated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “when,” “as,” and “although,” and most ideas remain understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “wealth make” should be “wealth makes,” “their all dreams becomes” has both a determiner and agreement problem, and “People gets” should be “People get.” In “During a daunting situations,” the article and plural form do not agree. The sentence beginning “An individual grows at the workplace, when…” also has an unclear structure. Review subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen your varied sentence forms.

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