Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that a lot of money is more crucial in people lives to stay happy. Although huge amount of money is necessary to live quality of lives, i beleive that satisfaction, good health, and family bondings are also essentail to live happiest lives.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why money is important to stay happy. First and foremost, when people have considerable money, they can live live luxorious lifesttle because they can buy things according to their interest and trend because they are capable to purchase it in turn of which they can make status in front of relatives and friends ultimately, they would feel proud in front of them as a reult, they can give respect them because they are richest person. In addition to it, people become independant person because they have no need to look after complete their fundamental needs which helps them to stay away from stress. As, in these days, inflation is increase at alarming rate therefore, if people have money, they can easily afford it which brings happiness in people lives because they can easily cater their childrens needs.

On the other hand, i beleive that good health, family bonding are more crucial rather than earning considerable money. First of all, in modern era, people are more busy in their work that is why they do not spend time their families as a consequence they are deprived from them to just earn money so they can suffer from stress and anxiety due to over work. If they have a good bond between family, they can share their problems with them and they always guide them how may overcome on this problems because family always give support in worse time. Therefore, families is more important instead of earn considerable money. Apart from it, health is also significant because 'Health is Wealth'. If people feel healthy, they can easily concentrate on their work which helps to improve the productivity because when they feel a lot of stress due to over work, they can suffer from stress and anxiety. Thus, health is necessary.

To conclude, while considerable money is an important to live better lifestyles, i think that health and families bond are more crucial to stay happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear overall view: money can improve comfort and meet needs, while health and family relationships also contribute to happiness. The points about affording necessities amid inflation and receiving support from family are relevant, and the conclusion restates your position. This meets the task well, with some elements more fully addressed than others. The explanation of how money creates happiness relies heavily on buying things, status and respect, while the other sources are also discussed in broad terms. To strengthen the response further, develop each main idea with a specific example and explain more precisely how it affects well-being, rather than repeating that it is important or necessary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To conclude” helps readers follow the main contrast. Within paragraphs, however, progression is sometimes weakened by long chains of ideas joined with “because,” “which,” and “as a result.” For example, the first money paragraph moves from luxury purchases to status, respect, independence, inflation and children’s needs without clearly separating or prioritising these points. Some references, such as “them” in the family paragraph, are not fully clear. Use shorter sentences, group related reasons, and make links between claims and examples more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “considerable money,” “fundamental needs,” “inflation,” “independent,” and “stress and anxiety.” These choices show an effort to discuss financial security and well-being beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited by repeated words such as “important,” “money,” and “happy,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “live quality of lives,” “make status,” and “give respect them” do not express the intended meaning naturally. Spelling errors, including “luxorious,” “independant,” and “essentail,” also reduce control. Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using clauses with “although,” “because,” “if,” and “which,” as well as contrast between the two main viewpoints. This gives the response some structural variety. However, complex sentences are often faulty or overloaded, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction can make meaning harder to follow. For instance, “families is more important” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “people are more busy in their work that is why they do not spend time their families” combines clauses without clear grammatical control. There are also missing or incorrect articles and prepositions. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas with one well-controlled subordinate clause at a time.

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