Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some people says that money is highly advantageous to stay happy in life in many situations, and how considerable funds make people delighted but therefore they are so many other things which make people's life joyful. I personally believe that people should not make money essential part to be optimistic.

A substantial amount of wealth offers people satisfaction in their personal life. People attains money to live a luxury life such as travelling a world, spending on shopping and luxury items, exploring different attractions and for other enertainment purposes. These activites requires cash to fulfil their needs which leads them to enjoy prosperous life and brings happiness.

Despite, money offers ecstatic life but emotional support matters a lot in unexpected situations where funds do not facilitate. For example, someone suffering from stress, disease and other trauma where they need any family support or friends and for sharing any sort of personal things where money do not help. Consequently, significant cash provides valuable life but relationships supports people in difficult situations where money can not offer relief.

In my opinion, socioeconomically deprived people are living far better life than extremely affluent ones. The reason behind this aspect is that they are having close-knitted bonds which family and friends but people who seek for money they often suffer from stress and facing other challenging problems.

To conclude, people should enjoy their life with money but do not ignore other things such as person should be religious and calm to live a better life. Money supports people in purchasing materialistic things while other things holds a great importance to be happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can fund travel, shopping and entertainment, and you identify emotional support and close relationships as other sources of happiness. Your position is also clear: money is useful but should not be treated as essential for happiness. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The benefits of money are mainly listed, with little explanation of how financial security itself can reduce worry or improve daily life. The discussion of relationships is more specific, but the claim that poorer people live “far better” than affluent people is broad and not supported with an example. Develop each main point with a reason or relevant illustration to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to the benefits of money, other sources of happiness, your opinion and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have identifiable purposes, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Consequently” and “To conclude” help signal the progression. At times, however, connections are awkward or mechanical. The opening sentence combines several ideas without a clear relationship, and “Despite, money offers…” does not form a clear contrast with the preceding point. Some references are also unclear, as in “they are having close-knitted bonds which family and friends.” Use simpler, more precise transitions and make sure each sentence clearly connects to the point before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary and attempt less common expressions, including “substantial amount of wealth,” “emotional support,” “socioeconomically deprived” and “affluent.” These choices help you discuss both material and personal sources of happiness. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however, such as “stay happy,” “travelling a world,” “ecstatic life” and “close-knitted bonds.” There are also spelling errors, including “enertainment” and “activites.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding your main ideas, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prioritise common, accurate collocations and check spelling; for example, use “travel around the world” and “close family ties.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional-style example about someone facing stress or illness and contrastive clauses beginning with “while” and “but.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in sentence structure, agreement and articles remain. For instance, “some people says” should be “some people say,” and “People attains money” should be “People attain money.” The opening is a sentence fragment or run-on construction, while “Despite, money offers…” uses an incomplete contrast structure. Article use is also missing in “make money essential part.” Practise building complete sentences around one main idea, then check subject–verb agreement and articles. This will make your complex structures more controlled.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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