Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Happiness relies on several factors such as job satisfaction, achievment and relationship. Some people often claim that having a lot of money can make a person feel happy. From my perspective, happiness can not be associate with finance because it can be felt in small moments such as birthday, wedding or other celebrations. Having strong finance can lend a leverage to the person but it can not provide any sorts of guaranty. There are various ways to be happy and I will outline them in this essay.

To begin with, having money can make people happy in certain ways. They can buy products or services without any second thought. For instance, travelling to another city by bus can be exhausting and frustrating, but financial strength can allow individual to travel by flight. However, it cannot provide any guaranty because flight delay and other constraints or accidents may happen at anytime and anywhere. Having large amount can provide an additional leverage to the person to buy the services but can not eliminate problems completely.

On the other hand, happiness can be achieved throgh job satisfaction. It has been often seen that when individuals work in the field which they have dreamed of can make them feel satisfied. This positive approach can be seen in their performance and with job satisfaction, they achieve better results for the company, strengthen their relationship with co-worker. This motivation may spread happiness among the team members.

To sum up, although some employees may have low salaries, they are satisfied in their work. Poor people may struggle with services sometime but they often find a way to be happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can make travel more comfortable and identify job satisfaction as another source of happiness. Your position—that money can help but cannot guarantee happiness—is also apparent. However, the discussion is uneven: the financial example is developed more fully than the other sources, while the prompt asks what other things in life can bring happiness. The opening mentions achievement and relationships, but these are not explained later, and the conclusion introduces low salaries and poverty without showing clearly how people find happiness. Develop at least one additional source with a specific reason or example, and make the conclusion reflect the ideas discussed in the body.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on money and job satisfaction, and a concluding paragraph. Transitions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression is not always clear: the introduction promises several sources, but the body develops only job satisfaction beyond money, and the conclusion shifts to employees and poor people without connecting these points to the earlier discussion. Some links within sentences are also awkward, particularly the move from job satisfaction to company results and team happiness. Organise each paragraph around one clear point and use explicit links to show how its examples support the main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “job satisfaction,” “financial strength,” “constraints,” “performance,” and “motivation.” These choices allow you to discuss both material comfort and workplace fulfilment. You also attempt less common expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural in context: “lend a leverage” and “provide any sorts of guaranty” do not express your meaning idiomatically, and “strong finance” is an awkward collocation. There are also spelling errors, such as “achievment” and “throgh.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations—for example, say money “gives people greater purchasing power” or “offers more financial security”—and proofread spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “although,” “because,” and “when.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and the sentence about flight delays shows an attempt to qualify a point with several possible outcomes. Some grammatical errors remain, however. In “happiness can not be associate with finance,” the modal construction needs a past participle (“cannot be associated”); “allow individual to travel” needs an article or plural noun; and “when individuals work … can make them feel satisfied” has an unclear subject and clause structure. There are also agreement and article issues in “Having large amount.” Review passive forms, articles, and the structure of sentences beginning with “when” or “although,” while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.