Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era, money plays important role in everyone's life. If questioned how a lot of money can affect your life then I would like to examplify the cause, and some proactive steps to deal with that type of issue. Both the merits and measurements will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

Scruitinising the fact from grass root level and foremost one is that money surely can a person happiest undeniably. For instance, rich people are spending too much on luxurious items like a sports car, personal jet and yatch, gold and diamond accessories, lavish International trips and on luxurious house. Eventually and indirectly that class will make a person feel like a luckiest one in the whole world.

On top of that they are showing of a money to flex their financial status and that will make them feel superior. To illustrate this, Ambani's are richest person in India, they all showing off jewellery items and they always wear some rare and precious diamonds at award functions. I do believe in "money can buy happieness." Although I actually feel that not only momey can buy all the happieness and peace to human being.

However, there is few important things like family, friends, good health can make you happier. Moreover, a good health is key factor of living cheerful live, without being fit mentally and physically person can not be a happy and peaceful. For example, one of the richest man in the world Nanani is suffering from a rare disease, which can not be treated by money even.

Based on the aforementioned reasoning, I still believe that robust body and stable income, living with happy family is kind of perfect and reason for happy life. You do not need exceed amount of money to being happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and give a clear overall view: money can provide luxury and status, while family, friends, and health also contribute to happiness. The examples of expensive possessions and the Indian business family help illustrate how wealth may create pleasure or a sense of superiority. However, the explanation of how money brings happiness is mostly focused on consumption and showing off, so it would be stronger with a broader point, such as financial security or freedom from stress. The non-financial factors are relevant, but family and friendship are named rather than explained, and the example of a wealthy person with an illness is unclear. Develop these ideas more fully and make the final position more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs about wealth and other sources of happiness, and a concluding view. Connectors such as “For instance,” “On top of that,” and “However” help signal examples and contrast. At times, though, the progression is mechanical or unclear. The introduction promises “proactive steps to deal with that type of issue,” although the task asks about happiness rather than a problem requiring solutions. The two paragraphs about money also repeat the idea of luxury and status, while the relationship between the examples and the main point is not always explicit. Use topic sentences that directly answer each question, and make references such as “that class” and “that” more precise so readers can follow the argument easily.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary, including “luxurious items,” “financial status,” “stable income,” and “mentally and physically,” which gives you some useful language for the topic. However, several word choices, collocations, and spelling errors reduce naturalness and sometimes make meaning less clear. Examples include “examplify,” “Scruitinising,” “showing of a money,” and “cheerful live.” Some expressions, such as “a luckiest one in the whole world,” are also awkward or overly emphatic. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than inserting formal-sounding phrases. Proofread spelling carefully and choose vocabulary that expresses the idea directly; this will make your range more effective and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including “Although I actually feel that not only money can buy all the happiness and peace to human being.” This shows an effort to vary sentence forms, but some complex sentences are not controlled, and errors in articles, agreement, and sentence construction occur. For example, “money plays important role” needs an article, while “there is few important things” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “without being fit mentally and physically” is also difficult to follow because its clause structure is incomplete. Practise building complex sentences around a clear main clause, and check articles, singular/plural forms, and agreement. More consistently accurate sentences would make your ideas easier to understand.

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