Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Control financial is good to do in life and looking for love can be a way to be happy. makeing a lot of money helps people buy many necessary things in life. Howver there are others things can create happy for people. for this essay we are going to find how money and others thing can make people happy.
On the one hand, money is important in our daily life. It can biy houses, golds, cars. when people earned lots of money they can go to travel to reduce stress, though reducing pressure people can find happy. When they retire, money helps adult people have a good life with there family. they do not need to work in order to protect there health. even money could bring them to have good position in there job.
On the other hand, there are several things can be found to make people delighted. Such as love, having enough members in family or even peace in life. For intance, when people see love to one anorther they would think they are not alone so that happy always comes with them. Happy can come from the members of the family when they share to each other. the last example is that when they consider happy is peace at a moment. when people have money but there family keep fighting because of money and possesion.
In conclusion, having a lot of money can improve people's living conditions and provide more opportunities to enjoy life. However, I believe that good health, strong relationships and a meaningful life are equally important for achieving true happiness
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains that money can provide housing, travel, reduced work-related pressure and a more comfortable retirement, then identifies love, family and peace as other sources of happiness. The conclusion also gives a clear overall view that relationships and health matter alongside money. These relevant points meet the task, but some are only briefly stated or unclear. For example, the claim that money can bring someone to “have good position in there job” is not explained, and the family example ends without fully clarifying how conflict over money affects happiness. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation or a specific example, and make the relationship between money and happiness more precise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. The contrastive signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the two sides of the discussion. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear: “though reducing pressure people can find happy” does not clearly link the ideas, and “the last example” introduces a point that is difficult to follow. The final sentence of the third paragraph also feels unfinished and is not smoothly connected to the preceding examples. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and ensure each paragraph develops a complete sequence of ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main ideas, including “financial,” “reduce stress,” “retire,” “peace,” and “meaningful life.” It also attempts some less common expressions, such as “living conditions” and “strong relationships,” particularly in the conclusion. However, noticeable spelling, word-choice and collocation errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand: “Control financial,” “golds,” “find happy,” and “share to each other” are not natural expressions. Spelling errors such as “Howver,” “biy,” and “intance” also reduce accuracy. Build a more reliable range of common collocations for money, family and wellbeing, and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
There is an attempt to use both simple statements and longer sentences, including a conditional structure in “when people have money but there family keep fighting.” The overall message is generally recoverable, but control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent. Examples include the incomplete opening “Control financial is good to do in life,” missing subjects or verbs in “Such as love,” and the faulty construction “there are several things can be found.” Verb forms and agreement also need attention, as in “when people earned lots of money they can go” and “their family keep fighting.” Practise complete sentence patterns, consistent tense, subject–verb agreement, articles and possessives; then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.
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