Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is believed by some that earning money is the main way to achieve happiness in life. Although there are several reasons behind people considering money as a ultimate key to happy life, but I believe other factors can also make people happy. This essay will discuss how money can contribute to happiness and other things can bring joy in life.

To begin with, the major reason is survival in this world. To further explain, finances are required to purchase things which are necessary for the survival of the human beings like food, shelter and clothes. As a result, when an individual is able to afford to buy things for his family to fulfilling basic necessities of life which leads to sense of satisfaction. Another important factor is that having enough funds can help people fulfill their personal desires and wants. For example, being financially secure allows people to spend that cash on traveling, buying property and performing other leisure activites which would make them happy in life.

On the other hand, other aspects like family, workplace recognition, personal growth and good health can also create a sense of joy among human beings. To elaborate, having meaning connections with family members helps in difficult times as whole family tries to overcome the situation together. Moreover, getting recognised at work for the hardwork an individual puts leads to perosnal growth and gratitude in life. Most importantly good health helps to stay away from the different diseases and expenses of dealing with these circumstances. Consequently, life becomes easy and joyful.

In conclusion, I believe that money is exteremly important fulfill basic needs of human life, but many other aspects like good health, family also brings joy in human life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and present a clear overall view: money can meet needs and support personal enjoyment, while other factors also contribute to happiness. The examples of food, shelter and clothing explain money’s practical value, and travel and property illustrate how it can fund personal desires. You also identify family, recognition at work, personal growth and health as non-financial sources of happiness. This covers the task well, but some points are more fully explained than others: the discussion of family is clearer than the brief mention of workplace recognition and health. To strengthen the response further, explain more precisely how each factor contributes to lasting happiness and support the points with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to the benefits of money, then other sources of happiness, and finally a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help distinguish the main stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, ideas generally follow a sensible order, as the explanation of basic needs leads to satisfaction. Some linking is a little mechanical, however, and the introduction’s “This essay will discuss” is less direct than simply presenting the two main points. The conclusion also repeats the central contrast without drawing the ideas together. Use referencing and transitions more naturally, and make the final paragraph synthesise the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financially secure,” “personal desires,” “personal growth,” and “sense of satisfaction.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For example, “meaning connections” is not a natural collocation, “workplace recognition” could be expressed more precisely, and “expenses of dealing with these circumstances” is cumbersome. There are also spelling errors in “activites,” “perosnal,” and “exteremly,” which reduce accuracy. Aim to use familiar collocations reliably before reaching for less common phrasing, and proofread spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary for emotional well-being would also help distinguish temporary pleasure from lasting happiness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “To further explain,” and “Consequently.” Most of the argument is understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. In the introduction, “Although …, but I believe” incorrectly combines two contrasting structures; use either “Although …, I believe” or “…, but I believe.” In “when an individual is able to afford to buy things … which leads,” the clause connection is unclear, and “helps people fulfill” would be more grammatically complete as “helps people to fulfil” or “helps people fulfil their desires.” The conclusion also needs an infinitive in “important to fulfil,” and “aspects … brings” has a subject–verb agreement error. Check articles, clause boundaries and agreement while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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