Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many believe that the only way to be happy in life is to have money. Although having a considerable amount of money is a key to happiness, other things such as emotional connections can make people feel happier. Therefore this essay will discuss reasons to support both views briefly.

To begin with, Money can provide comfort, security and better living condition. It can also give people have secure future. People can live their life fullest without stressing about the financial factor. Financial security can cover health, safe housing and education. For instance, there are some health issues that requires a significant amount of money to get treatment, people can buy medicines without stressing about its price to recover faster. Thus, I certainly believe that money offers peace of mind because they do not have to worry about sudden expenses.

On the other side, others believe that money is not the only way to bring happiness in life emotional connections matters such as family and friends. Creating memories with friends such as travelling together or celebrating moments together can bring long-lasting happiness. Moreover, spending luxurious time with family creates emotional support and stronger bond. For instance, cooking a meal for your family, and sharing them with each other are the happy moments with family. Ultimately, true happiness grows from emotional bonds and meaningful relations.

To put this in a nutshell, while money can help in comfort and have a healthy lifestyle, true happiness often comes from relationships along with emotional support.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear overall view: money can provide security, while relationships also contribute to happiness. The explanation of financial benefits is relevant, especially the examples of healthcare, housing and education, and the family-and-friends paragraph gives a second perspective. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained; for example, “spending luxurious time with family” is unclear, and the cooking example could show more explicitly why it creates happiness. The opening also shifts from the prompt’s “main way” to “the only way,” which slightly changes the claim. The response is 241 words, so it is 9 words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop the ideas fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to the financial benefits, then relationships, and finally a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other side,” and “To put this in a nutshell” help identify the stages of the argument. The examples are generally placed beside the points they support. To make the organisation more polished, use transitions that express the relationship between ideas more naturally and avoid formulaic phrasing. For instance, “On the other side” could be replaced with “By contrast,” and the conclusion could synthesise the two sources of happiness rather than repeat the introduction. Some links between sentences, particularly in the money paragraph, feel abrupt.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “financial security,” “peace of mind,” “emotional support,” and “long-lasting happiness.” These phrases help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning remains clear despite some imprecise choices. However, several expressions are awkward or repetitive, such as “living condition,” “live their life fullest,” and “spending luxurious time.” “Financial factor” is also less natural than a more specific phrase about financial pressure or costs. Greater accuracy in collocation and word forms would make the argument sound more fluent and precise. Check spelling and capitalisation as well, including the unnecessary capital in “Money” after “To begin with.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction (“Although having a considerable amount of money…”) and a reason clause with “because.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “It can also give people have secure future” has an incorrect verb pattern and is missing an article; “health issues that requires” has subject–verb disagreement; and “emotional connections matters” also needs agreement. There are further problems with plurals and sentence boundaries, as in the long sentence beginning “For instance, there are some health issues…”. Review agreement, articles and clause punctuation, while continuing to use varied sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.