Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Some people hold the opinion that having a lot of money will make you happy. While others argue that there are many things beside money that are important in life. I believe that money cannot buy happiness. You can have a lot of money but still can feel lonely and depressed.

In this materialistic world, having assets are very important. You can buy luxuries of life with your money. Moreover, money provide you financial security. For example, when one fell ill they can afford treatment in a good hospital. Money can buy you amenities like you can purchase your favourite car, eat-out in famous restaurants and can enjoy the comforts of life. People respect only wealthy in this materialistic world. Having financial freedom let you enjoy quality time with your family.

In contrary, you cannot buy everything with your fortune. People respect wealthy because of their own greed. The wealthier you become the lonely you get. People will only surround you because they want something from you. True friendship and honest relationships are the true assets of your life. One other thing that holds more value than cash is the healthy life. Don't take your health for granted. You can spend millions but still cannot cure some chronic diseases. The famous proverb still holds its place "money cannot buy happiness". I have seen millionaires become depressed because they don't have genuine connections. People are hypocritical towards them.

In conclusion, though you can enjoy your life and can fulfil your every desire with your money. There are far more valuable things that out-weighs this concept. Health, genuine friendships, honest relationships and true respect are more important in life. They will give you peace of mind and happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both parts of the question: it explains how money can provide security, treatment, comforts and time with family, then identifies health and genuine relationships as other sources of happiness. Your position—that money alone cannot guarantee happiness—is clear and reinforced in the conclusion. Examples such as affording hospital treatment and seeing millionaires become depressed help make the discussion relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that wealth brings loneliness and that people respect only the wealthy could be qualified or supported more carefully. The discussion of how money itself can make people happy is somewhat less developed than the discussion of its limits. More balanced explanation and specific examples would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs considering money and non-financial sources of happiness, and a conclusion that restates your view. The progression from financial benefits to the limits of wealth is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “In contrary,” and “In conclusion” help show the direction of the argument. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. “While others argue…” is presented as a sentence fragment, and “In contrary” is not an accurate transition for the contrast intended. Several ideas in the third paragraph—respect, loneliness, friendship and health—are grouped together without much linking explanation. Use transitions more naturally and make the relationship between each supporting point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial security,” “materialistic,” “genuine connections,” “chronic diseases” and “peace of mind.” These choices help you discuss both material and emotional aspects of happiness, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at less common or emphatic expressions, such as “true assets” and “hypocritical,” though some wording is imprecise or unnatural: “People respect only wealthy,” “amenities like you can purchase,” and “out-weighs this concept.” Repetition of “money,” “wealthy” and “happiness” also limits flexibility. Aim for more accurate collocations and vary key terms—for example, refer to “financial resources,” “affluent people” or “well-being” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a conditional example (“when one fell ill they can afford treatment”) and a comparative construction (“The wealthier you become…”). The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and reduce accuracy. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “having assets are” and “money provide,” the fragment “While others argue…,” and the incorrect comparative form “the lonely you get.” There are also problems with articles and sentence construction in “People respect only wealthy” and “Money can buy you amenities like you can purchase…”. Review agreement, articles and comparative patterns, and check that each sentence has a complete main clause. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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