Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays everyone is trying to earn money by adopting different ways.Some people think that it is one of the main reasons to live happily. This essay will explain the ways in which money is helping people to live happily and what are the other things which can also become the reason of their happiness.

First and foremost, money is helpful to make life easier in variety of ways. You can buy anything which you need with money. Moreover, some people are interested in buying expensive clothes, footwear, and decoratory things. Money can help them to buy all these things. Additionally, fewer people want to go on trip to foreign country which is possible if they enough money to buy expensive tickets.

Conversely, there are many other things which can also make someone happy other then money. For instance, if we have some delightful dinner with our loved ones it can make us happy. If people help someone needy or participate in charity programs, it might become the reason of their happiness. Spending some time at nature friendly place can give relief to mind. People who are interested to spend time with the elder members of family can get happiness by spending some time with them.

In conclusion, although the money is important to do many things of life. But some time in the process to earn more and more money, people become greedy and they do not care about the sentiments of other people. This thing can have negative impacts on other people lives. In my opinion, people should try to find happines in other things like kindness, truthfulness, and helping others.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it explains that money enables people to buy necessities and luxuries and travel, then identifies relationships, charity, time in nature, and family as other sources of happiness. Your concluding view—that people should also value kindness and helping others—gives the essay a clear position. The examples are relevant, but several ideas are listed rather than explained. For instance, you mention expensive clothes and foreign travel without showing how these purchases contribute to lasting happiness, and the point about helping people in need could be developed with a brief example. The contrast between money and non-material sources is useful, though the conclusion could more directly summarise how both contribute to a happy life.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph about money, a contrasting paragraph about other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Moreover,” “Conversely,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. This meets the lower-band expectations and shows some flexibility in organising the response. However, the sequence of examples in the second body paragraph feels list-like, and the repeated “If…” openings do not show clearly how each example relates to the main point. Some links are also mechanical, particularly the shift to “Conversely.” Grouping related examples and adding a sentence that explains their shared value would make the progression more natural and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss both material and personal sources of happiness, including “expensive clothes,” “charity programs,” “sentiments,” and “negative impacts.” There are also attempts at less common or descriptive language, such as “delightful dinner” and “nature friendly place.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “decoratory things,” “go on trip to foreign country,” and “other then money” are examples. “Happines” is also misspelled, and “fewer people want to go on trip” does not clearly express the intended idea. Build a bank of natural collocations for travel, spending, and emotional well-being, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at more complex forms, especially conditional clauses such as “If people help someone needy… it might become the reason of their happiness.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “which is possible if they enough money” is missing a verb, while “other then money” and “people other lives” show problems with grammatical forms and possession. The conclusion also begins “although the money is important…” but does not complete that concessive structure before starting “But.” Sentence boundaries and spacing need attention too, as in “ways.Some.” Practise complete conditional clauses, articles, possessives, and punctuation; these corrections would make your varied sentence attempts more controlled.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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