Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is commonly believed that, money makes people happy as they can effort to buy anything. However, I feel that good health is the secret of happiness in our life.

On the one side, in this modern world, people may like to living high standard of life style and also their desires are increasingly day by day. They may think if they have enough money they can easily buy their luxury homes, cars and high branded outfits and all of these can make them happy in their life. Apart from this, some people may think if they have enough money, they can easily donate the food and clothes to the needy people. For example, In India, some people are living below poverty line. Thus, they cannot efford to buy food. However, people those who have a lot of money, they are helping the needy people by donating the not only food but also clothes which makes them more happy.

However, I feel that all time money does not make us happy. A good health is the secret of happiness. If we are physically and mentally fit, we may always feel more energetic which feels us more happy. To site for my own experience, One of my friends, she is a Teacher and having enough money. She is not happy in her life due to physically illness, anxiety and depression. Recently, she starts Yoga which may help her to boost energy.

In conclusion, I believed that we cannot buy good hea

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can provide luxury goods and enable donations, then identify good health as another source of happiness. Your position is clear in the opening and health example, but the discussion is only partly developed. The points about buying homes, cars and clothes are listed rather than explained in depth, and the donation example focuses on poverty in India without showing clearly how helping others brings happiness to the giver. The friend’s experience is relevant, though it would benefit from a clearer explanation of how illness affects her happiness and how yoga changes this. Develop each main idea with a specific reason or consequence, and complete the conclusion so it restates your answer fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and health, and an attempted conclusion. Linking phrases such as “Apart from this,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is sometimes mechanical, and some connections are unclear: “On the one side” does not lead naturally into the contrast, while “However” is used repeatedly without always marking a clear opposition. The final sentence is cut off, so the ending does not bring the argument together. Use fewer, more precise transitions and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit. A complete conclusion would also give the essay a clearer overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “luxury homes,” “needy people,” “physically and mentally fit,” and “anxiety and depression.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, but the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce naturalness. For example, “efford” is misspelled, “high branded outfits” is an awkward phrase, and “boost energy” is not the most natural expression in this context. Repetition of “happy,” “money,” and “people” also limits precision. Build a wider set of topic-specific expressions and check common collocations; for instance, describe how money “provides financial security” or how exercise “improves well-being.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “If we are physically and mentally fit…” and a relative clause in “which makes them more happy.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “people may like to living,” “people those who have,” and “she is a Teacher and having enough money.” The opening comma after “believed that” is also unnecessary, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate verb patterns and complete clause structures, then proofread for agreement and sentence boundaries. More reliable control of these forms would make your ideas easier to understand.

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