Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

From my perspective, money is the main reason why people lives being delighted most all of the time.

Money is the key to happiness. You can buy anything:from small things to massive, like penthouse, cars and etc.

It depends how you use your money properly: maybe for clothing, to buy a new phone or something else you really need.

Most people are keep saying: You can't buy your health. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about that take. You cannot buy your health or etc. But to a certain extent, you can buy the best doctors, the best medications, the VIP care of you. Absolutely, it costs thousands of dollars. But if you a rich person, you can do these things without any problem. But on the other hand, you can't buy your Own health. I mean, if you have a laborious heart problem or anything else, this is truly risky. You can day anyways, if there is no exit of this situation and you will die anyways. Money can make you live longer, but everybody should now: we are not vampires or witches. Ultimately, you will die. And money can't save your life anymore. Not again.

Secondly, I firmly believe that money can't achieve your knowledge. You can buy courses, can hire a best tutor. Mainly, it depends on you. If you are not doing anything, and just taking a lessons., you just spending your money unwisly. You can't buy a lovely family, true friends with money. To conclude, I would say: Your money can leave you anytime. And you will see, who stayed with you

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can provide material goods and access to doctors and medication, then identify education, family and friends as other sources of happiness. Your position is also apparent in the opening and conclusion. However, the discussion is uneven: the section on medical care is much more developed than the points about knowledge and relationships, which are asserted rather than supported with clear examples. The response also focuses heavily on whether money can buy health and life, rather than explaining more fully how financial security can contribute to happiness. Develop each main idea with a specific example and make the link to happiness explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation: the response begins with a position, uses “Secondly” to introduce another point, and ends with a concluding statement. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear. The long paragraph about health moves through several related claims, but repeated contrasts such as “But” and “anyways” make the reasoning feel circular. The final paragraph combines education, family and friendship without clearly separating or connecting these ideas, and the conclusion arrives abruptly. Use distinct paragraphs for the benefits of money and other sources of happiness, then organise each paragraph around one main idea with a clear explanation and example. More precise linking and referencing would help readers follow the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “medications,” “tutor,” “true friends” and “laborious heart problem,” and you attempt to express nuanced ideas about what money can and cannot provide. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “people lives being delighted,” “buy your knowledge,” and “the VIP care of you” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There is also repetition of basic terms such as “money,” “buy” and “health.” Build a more precise range around financial security, access to healthcare, education and relationships, and check that phrases sound natural in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of short statements and longer sentences, including conditional forms such as “If you are not doing anything” and clauses beginning with “if.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in basic sentence construction, agreement and verb forms. Examples include “people lives,” “Most people are keep saying,” “if you a rich person,” and “you just spending your money.” Some sentences are also incomplete or joined awkwardly, as in “You can buy courses, can hire a best tutor.” Review subject–verb agreement, auxiliary verbs, articles and sentence boundaries. Aim to produce accurate simple sentences first, then add complex structures where you can control them.

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