Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some folks claim that the major way to be happy in life is to have enough money. This is just an insane belief bacause, having a lot of money does not feel some certain spaces in life. Having good health and reasonable friends and family should be one's most important priority.

In hospitals today, there are a lot of rich people battling with some uncuarable and life threating diseases and illness which if money could solve, they would have been back on their feet. For instance, an individual battling with a stage 4 cancer even with the whole money, would have used the money to buy his/her wealth back. This does not in any way, bring happiness. Making money the least or most crucial thing to have as an individual.

In addition, having a good number of good friends and family, makes one rich in life. There's this saying that; no man is an island. I believe so much in that beacuse, once there is a problem and there is a friend or family to talk to, instantly that problem feels light and in most cases its being solved through their help, which instantly makes one elated. For example, a man having issues with his wife, could easily discuss it with a friend or a family that could bring possible solutions and resolve all conflict. This singular act alone, brings happiness and joy to ones heart. This is something money cannot buy.

To conclude, while some people think that money brings happiness, I believe there are certain spaces money can't feel in one's life, such as severe health conditions and the presence of a loved one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response gives a clear view that money alone cannot ensure happiness and develops two relevant alternatives: health and supportive relationships. The examples of serious illness and a friend helping with marital problems make the discussion more concrete. However, the task asks both how having a lot of money might make people happy and what else can do so; the first part is largely missing. The essay mainly rejects money’s value, without explaining benefits such as security, access to healthcare, or freedom from financial stress. Some claims are also unclear, particularly the sentence about making money “the least or most crucial thing.” To improve, address both questions directly and explain each idea with a clear reason and example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph focuses on a distinct source of happiness, and transitions such as “In addition” and “To conclude” help signal the progression. The examples generally follow the ideas they support. However, some connections are awkward or unclear. The sentence “Making money the least or most crucial thing to have as an individual” is a fragment and does not clearly connect to the preceding point. The conclusion repeats the central claim rather than bringing the discussion together, and references such as “This singular act” require the reader to infer exactly what they refer to. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph’s main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “battling,” “life-threatening diseases,” “resolve all conflict,” and “elated.” These choices help communicate ideas about illness and relationships. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “money does not feel some certain spaces in life,” “buy his/her wealth back,” and “a good number of good friends.” Spelling errors, including “bacause,” “uncuarable,” and “beacuse,” also reduce accuracy. The meaning is usually recoverable, but these issues limit precision and naturalness. Aim for standard collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, say that money “cannot fill certain gaps” or “cannot restore health,” rather than using “feel” or “buy wealth back.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There is some variety in sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if money could solve” and relative clauses such as “a friend or a family that could bring possible solutions.” Most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, some sentences contain grammatical problems that make the relationships between ideas unclear. “This is just an insane belief because, having a lot of money does not feel…” has faulty punctuation and an incomplete construction, while “Making money the least or most crucial thing…” is a fragment. There are also agreement and article issues, as in “a good number of good friends and family, makes one rich.” Work on complete sentence construction, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation around introductory clauses. More accurate complex sentences would make the argument easier to follow.

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