Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Mostly, everyone today try to chase money in their life for a better lifestyle. Many people belive that alot of money makes people happy in thier life. With money people can buy whatever they want or they can go where they want. But, spend time with thier family and friends is also important in our life.

In today's world, most of people try to make more money in their life. Money can help people to get financial string and make them independanat. Many people start going to wrong path to earn more money. Many people start gambling and betting thier many they earn with hardwork and that's result's many mental problems to them. So that's why many countries starting taking strict action against that. For example, India is most populatted country of the world and a study finds that fifty percent of youngster start gamble their parent's hardwork money in betting.On the other hand, money makes many people life easier too. Mostly everyone in the world today doing some jobs or business to earn money so they can live thier life and do whatever they want.

Besides that, only earing money is also not everything in a person's life. An individual should enjoy they their personal time too. For instance, one study finds that if an individual works for more than twelve hours can make them mentally ill. That is why, it is very improtant for a perosn to spend some time with thier friends and family. Moreover, people start getting busy in thier work that they forgot to live thier life.

Overall, earning money is imprtant for a person to be financial stable. But,only focusing on the work can also be very harmfull for a perosn's life. They should also soend sometime with thier loved one's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: money is linked to buying desired things, independence and an easier life, while family and friends are presented as other sources of happiness. The contrast in your conclusion is clear. However, the discussion of how money itself creates happiness is not developed consistently; the paragraph shifts to gambling and its harms, which is relevant to money but does not directly explain the benefits asked about. The claim that money helps people become “financial string” also needs clarification and support. Your example about gambling in India is specific, but its connection to happiness is limited. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example, and keep the focus on the two questions throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the reader can identify the main contrast between money and personal relationships. You also use linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Besides that” and “Overall.” However, progression within the first body paragraph is uneven: it moves from financial independence to gambling, then to money making life easier, without clearly connecting these points. Some transitions feel mechanical, and repeated openings such as “Many people” and “Moreover” do not always show how ideas relate. The reference in “they forgot to live their life” is also broad. Group related benefits and drawbacks more clearly, and use linking phrases to express precise relationships rather than simply introduce another point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “financial,” “independant,” “gambling,” “mentally ill” and “loved ones,” so the basic meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “belive,” “alot,” “populatted,” “earining” and “harmfull.” Some combinations are also unnatural: “financial string” does not convey a clear meaning, and “gamble their parent’s … money in betting” is awkward. Repetition of “money,” “life” and “people” further limits variety. Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “financial security” and “earn a living” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a conditional structure in “if an individual works for more than twelve hours…” and a contrast introduced by “On the other hand.” However, the range is limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation and agreement sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “everyone today try” needs a singular verb, while “spend time with their family and friends is also important” needs a gerund subject. “Many people start going to wrong path” also has problems with article use and sentence construction. Punctuation is inconsistent, particularly around commas and spaces after them. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a subordinate clause, then check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation.

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