Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some Individuals argue about being affluent in life brings happiness. Well, they are not wrong though, I believe the same and I will explain why I think so in that way. However, there is one thing which could make you feel happy ven without being rich, we will see in the upcoming paragraph.
On the one hand, If you're rich then you have access to all the resources which you will need in life. There are various kinds of things or desires which one will not be able to fulfill while being poor. For example, staying in luxery hotel, buying a bungalow which everyone dreams about once in their life
Moreover, if you fell ill and treatment cost hefty amount, you can easily come out from that phase if you're rich which would be impossible if someone is poor. Therefore, this satisfies this quote which is "health is wealth".
On the other hand, there is one thing which exists in today's era which would make you happy in life is peace of mind. Even if you are rich and you dont have peace of mind in your life, you will always feel like something is missing in your life. For example, recently I visited my old friend, who comes from royal family but still this guy wasn't happy at all in his life and overthinks alot. His family contacted the doctor about this problem but they were not able to do anything about it.
In the last, I feel money plays an important role in everyone's life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both parts of the question: money is linked to access to desired goods and services, and peace of mind is presented as another source of happiness. The examples of expensive accommodation and being able to afford medical treatment make the first point relevant, while your story about your wealthy friend supports the second. Your position is broadly clear, although the opening says you agree that wealth brings happiness, whereas the conclusion only says money is important; clarify whether you believe it is the main route to happiness or one factor among several. Some ideas also need fuller explanation: for instance, explain how financial security affects everyday wellbeing, and develop what can create peace of mind beyond the single anecdote.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for money and peace of mind, and a conclusion. The contrast signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the two sides of your answer. However, some linking is mechanical or unclear: “we will see in the upcoming paragraph” refers awkwardly to the structure, and “In the last” is not a natural way to introduce a conclusion. The final sentence also does not fully draw together the two main ideas. Improve progression by using a more direct thesis, linking each example explicitly to its point, and ending with a conclusion that restates your balanced view. Paragraphing is appropriate, but connections within paragraphs could be smoother.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss wealth, health and wellbeing, including “affluent,” “resources,” “fulfill,” and “peace of mind.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the examples are generally easy to understand. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural choices that limit precision, such as “staying in luxery hotel,” “treatment cost hefty amount,” and “overthinks alot.” Spelling errors such as “luxery” and “alot” are noticeable, while “royal family” may not express the intended idea of a wealthy family. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling; precise phrases such as “stay in a luxury hotel” and “medical treatment is expensive” would make your points clearer and more formal.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if you’re rich then you have access” and a relative clause in “my old friend, who comes from royal family.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “there is one thing which could make you feel happy ven without being rich” has a missing word and an awkward clause structure; “if you fell ill and treatment cost hefty amount” needs more accurate tense and article use; and “one thing … which would make you happy … is peace of mind” is not well formed. Capitalisation after sentence openings and punctuation also need attention. Practise accurate articles, verb forms and sentence construction while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.
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