Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that the superior method to be happy in life is to have large amount of money . I largely agree with this because money have power to complete their desires which makes them happy .However, apart from it , satisfaction,peace and inner gratitue are also vital elements which can contribute in life to stay happier. I would explain the reason and relevant examples why i supports this phenomenon .

How can lot of money make someone happy ? First and foremost reason is the power money is hold. There is no doubt , if someone want to try or buy new something such as cars which are expensive , with money its easy for them to purchase .Now , if they are poor in case , they can not fulfill their dreams .Resulty, it makes them dismay and dispointed .Secondly, with lot of money , people can fulfill their all desires like big house , cars, better facilites and access of enjoy most of the things . Therefore , everything can be do with money even with the advancement in technology good health can be buy beacuse if we have money we can get better medical facilities. Ultimately , lot of children have a dream to study abroad as it require lot of money as well . If they belongs to wealthy family ,they are able to go oversea and build their future and acheive success.

Paradoxically , along with money , there are few things also important which can make life better. For instance , some people believe inner satisfaction is very curcial because not all rich people are happy .In recent studie shows that the suicide rates in rich people is increasing with time.So it is depend on people as well how they see to life and measure their happiness with mone.

To conclude , although other factors are considerable , I think money is the main character in everyone life and make lige increadibly beautiful and peacful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question and give a clear overall view: money can enable people to meet desires, while satisfaction and peace can also contribute to happiness. The examples of buying a car, accessing medical care, and studying abroad are relevant and explain practical ways wealth may help. You also acknowledge that rich people are not necessarily happy. However, the discussion of non-financial sources of happiness is much less developed than the discussion of money; inner satisfaction is mentioned, but not explained with a specific example or further reasoning. The claim about rising suicide rates is also unsupported and needs careful qualification. Develop this second part more fully and make the relationship between your position and the question more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about money, a paragraph about other influences, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. Overall, the ideas are arranged coherently, but some connections feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “Paradoxically” does not clearly signal the contrast intended, and “apart from it” has an uncertain reference. The long paragraph about money also groups several separate examples together, while the paragraph on other sources of happiness is comparatively brief. Use clearer links between claims and examples, and organise each paragraph around a more focused main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “fulfill their desires,” “inner satisfaction,” “medical facilities,” and “achieve success.” These choices show an effort to express more than basic ideas, but inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are frequent enough to make some phrases awkward or unclear. Examples include “gratitue,” “Resulty,” “dispointed,” “curcial,” and “measure their happiness with mone.” Phrases such as “the power money is hold” and “access of enjoy most of the things” also do not express the intended meaning naturally. Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording, and proofread spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if someone want to try or buy…” and a contrast introduced by “although.” However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “money have power” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “if they belongs to wealthy family” has agreement and article problems. “Everything can be do with money” also shows an incorrect passive form. Punctuation and spacing around commas and full stops are uneven. Practise accurate agreement, articles, and passive constructions, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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