Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there are multiple ways to be satisfied in life such as money and other factors. It is often argued that most of the happiness is coming from money while others believe that money is not the only source of happiness, there are certain other elements which can contribute make individuals life happy. This essay will demonstrates the main reasons followed by relevant examples.

The one of the main reasons why people think money is the only way to live happy because nowadays, money becomes significant part of our life. We cannot imagine a life without money. With money, people can fulfill their needs. For instance, if an individual wants to buy a car

On the other hand, there are numerous other factors which lead to make human life happy such as spending a quality time with loved ones, or enjoying a favourite meal. These kind of happiness doesn't have the monetary value. To illustrate, by enjoying the favourite cousine in the restaurant and watching a movie or spending a time with loved ones an individual can enjoy the real happiness. As a result,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You introduce both sides of the question and give relevant examples, such as buying a car and spending time with loved ones. However, the response only partially answers the task: the car example is left unfinished, and you do not explain clearly how money creates happiness beyond meeting needs. The non-financial examples are also listed rather than developed, and there is no clear concluding position; the final sentence ends with “As a result,” without completing the thought. The required minimum length is not met, which leaves important ideas unsupported and the response incomplete. To improve, explain both parts of the question in full, add specific examples and reasoning, and finish with a conclusion that summarises your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about money, and a paragraph about other sources of happiness. The transition “On the other hand” helps signal the shift between the two main ideas. However, progression is limited because the first body paragraph stops after “if an individual wants to buy a car,” while the final paragraph ends with “As a result,” leaving the argument unfinished. Some linking is also mechanical, and the introduction’s long sentence joins contrasting views without a clear separation. Develop each paragraph around a complete point, use clear links between explanation and example, and add a concluding paragraph so the essay has a complete overall progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “source of happiness,” “fulfill their needs,” “monetary value,” and “loved ones.” These phrases show an attempt to discuss both financial and personal sources of wellbeing. However, several word choices and collocations are awkward or inaccurate, such as “live happy,” “lead to make human life happy,” and “a quality time.” There is also a spelling error in “cousine,” and “favourite” is repeated. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main ideas, but they make the expression less natural. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling; for example, use “live happily,” “contribute to happiness,” and “cuisine.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “factors which lead to make human life happy” and a conditional example beginning “if an individual wants to buy a car.” However, control is inconsistent, and several errors make sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “This essay will demonstrates,” where the verb form is incorrect, and “there are certain other elements which can contribute make,” where the verb pattern is incomplete. The opening sentence also has a comma splice between two independent ideas. Use accurate verb forms after modal verbs, complete verb patterns such as “contribute to,” and separate contrasting clauses with appropriate punctuation. Completing sentences before adding complexity will also improve clarity.

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