Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
1.a sense of satisfaction --- fulfil their dreams such as expensive cars.------- example, middle class individuals aim to build a big house, exoensive car ------their desires are directly related to money------ once they get these expensive products they could feel a sense of complishment.
2. materialistic nature --------purchasing lastest product such as latest iphone------- up to date---- maintain their social status------ so money bring happiness like this.
other hand---- healthy lifestyle- eating fresh, workout- -----no harmful diseases --- they stay confident and happy.
2. family---- family bond strong- get emotional support----- mental health stabal ---- not unncessay stresss- they are happy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You address both parts of the question: money may help people fulfil dreams and buy status-related products, while health and family support can also bring happiness. However, these points are presented mainly as brief notes rather than a developed response, so the reasons and examples are not explained sufficiently. For instance, the example of middle-class people wanting a large house or expensive car could show how achieving a goal affects wellbeing, but the link is only stated. The response also falls 149 words short of the required minimum, which leaves important ideas unexplored. To strengthen your answer, state a clear overall view and develop each point with explanation and a relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The numbered points give the reader a basic sense of the topics you intend to cover: money, health and family. However, the ideas are not arranged into a coherent essay, and the response reads like planning notes rather than connected paragraphs. Links such as “other hand” and “so” are attempted, but they do not establish clear relationships between complete ideas. The repeated dashes also interrupt the flow, while there is no introduction or concluding summary to guide the reader. Organise the response into paragraphs, use complete sentences, and connect each reason to its explanation and example. This would create clearer progression and make the relationships between ideas easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “fulfil their dreams,” “social status,” “healthy lifestyle,” and “emotional support.” These phrases show an ability to discuss both material and non-material sources of happiness. However, the range is limited by repeated basic terms such as “happy” and “money,” and several spelling or word-choice errors reduce precision, including “exoensive,” “complishment,” and “stabal.” Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “purchasing lastest product” and “no harmful diseases.” Aim to use a wider range of accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would help you explain the ideas without changing their meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response shows an intention to express cause and result, for example in “once they get these expensive products they could feel a sense of…” and in the points about family support and mental health. However, most of the writing consists of fragments rather than complete sentences, and the range of sentence structures is very limited. There are frequent problems with articles, verb forms and sentence construction; for example, “so money bring happiness like this” lacks correct subject–verb agreement and a complete, natural structure. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with dashes replacing sentence boundaries. Practise writing clear subject–verb sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “because” and “although.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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