Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The importance of money to live a happy life is always debatable, where some people belive that having a lot money can help an indiviual to live a happy and posperous life, while some neglect this notion. There is no iota of doubt over the issue that money can be considered as pivotal thing to lead a happy. However, other ways to live happily cannot also be ignored. The essay will further highlight my perspective with logical ideas, before leading to a logical conclusion.

To commence with the first notion, there are myraid reasons to be shared in the favour of money to live happily. First and foremost, money can buy a person everything, which is in the desire list of human being. As a result, a person desire is fullfiled, they can live a good life. Secondly, there are curtain moments in the person life, where money will help you in difficult hard times. For instance if a person is ill or suffering form any life threatening disease, it can be used to a have a good treatment which can save a life.

On the other hand, there are many other aspects which cannot be ignored to stay happy without the aid of money. For instance, a person can buy everything with money, but they cannot buy relations, which have the great importance in humankind to live a prosperous life.Moreover, living a peaceful life with a beautiful nature and environment nearby provides a happiness which can never be fullfilled by money.

In conclusion, there are myriad of reasons which can explain money imoportance to live happily. Nevertheless, the other options to survive without money and live a beautiful live without money needs can never be ignored.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can fulfil people’s wants and help pay for treatment, then identify relationships and a peaceful natural environment as other sources of happiness. These are relevant ideas, and the illness example gives one point some support. However, the explanation of how money creates happiness is broad: “buy a person everything” is not qualified, and the point about difficult times could be developed with a clearer link between financial security and reduced stress. The alternatives are also listed rather than explored. Your overall position is present, but the conclusion’s reference to living “without money” does not clearly express the more balanced view suggested in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides of the question, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the progression. This organisation is effective, though some linking is mechanical and the opening and closing use similar formulaic language (“logical ideas” and “logical conclusion”). Connections between claims could be made more explicit: for example, explain how fulfilling desires or receiving medical care contributes to happiness. There is also a run-on boundary in “life.Moreover,” and the final sentence does not connect smoothly to the essay’s balanced discussion. Clearer referencing and more varied transitions would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “pivotal,” “life-threatening disease,” “relations,” and “peaceful life,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a lot money,” “desire list,” “curtain moments,” and “money importance.” Spelling errors—including “belive,” “indivual,” “posperous,” and “fullfiled”—are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Some expressions also repeat broad terms such as “happy” and “money” without adding precision. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully; more precise phrases for financial security, personal fulfilment, and close relationships would make the discussion clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause in the introduction and a conditional example beginning “if a person is ill.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, “a person desire is fullfiled” needs a possessive form and subject–verb agreement, while “money can be considered as pivotal thing” needs an article and a more suitable construction. The sentence beginning “As a result” is also awkwardly joined to its clause, and “a person life” lacks a possessive marker. Review articles, possessives, agreement, and sentence boundaries, while continuing to practise complex structures with accurate clause connections.

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