Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern world, happiness is important to live good and healthy life. Few people think that money is the only way to find happiness in individual's life. People get happy when they have alot of money to spend on different things. Now, I am going to explain why money is important to spread happiness among generations in the followling lines.

To begin with, the first and foremost reason is to maintain status symbol in the front of others with money. It believes that if they have enough money in their bank accounts, they can show their status symbol among the soceity. They think that money is more important than the education. It gives them inner peace and satisfaction. As a result, people will get more respect and attention from others when they have alot of money in their life. Secondly, to live the luxurious life money is important. To site an example, the person who is curious about latest sports car and he can buy only if he has alot of money to spend otherwise it would not be able to find his happiness wihout money. People can also visit to well-known places to spend their vacations with loved ones by spending money. They can plan their domestic and international trips that is only possible with money. Therefore, they find inner peace and make loved ones happy by spending money on it.

The other things in life can make people happy is to spend time with olders and children. They just want the attention and quality time with their loved ones instead of money. People can also find happiness to give his voluntary time in nursing and retirement homes with olders.

In conlusion, although people can make happy themselves by spending time with elders but money is the main way to find happines in this world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can provide status, luxury purchases and travel, then identify time with family and volunteering with older people as other sources of happiness. Your conclusion also gives a clear overall view that money is the main route to happiness. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the claims that money brings “inner peace” and “more respect and attention” are asserted rather than explained, and the example about a sports car is difficult to follow. The second part is briefer and gives little explanation of why time with loved ones or volunteering creates happiness. Develop each main idea with a clearer reason or specific example, and acknowledge that money may help meet needs without guaranteeing happiness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a main paragraph about money, a paragraph on other sources of happiness and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” help signal stages in the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from status to education, then luxury cars and travel without explaining how the points connect. Some linking is repetitive or mechanical, and references such as “It believes” and “they” do not make it clear who holds the belief. The paragraph on non-financial happiness is also much shorter than the preceding discussion. Group related ideas, use clearer references, and explain the links between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “status symbol,” “luxurious life,” “quality time,” “voluntary time” and “retirement homes.” These choices make the main subject clear, but the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which can make the reader pause. For example, “maintain status symbol in the front of others” and “visit to well-known places” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “older people” is also more appropriate than “olders.” Spelling errors such as “alot,” “soceity,” “followling” and “happines” further reduce control. Build accuracy by learning common collocations and checking spelling, word forms and phrasing during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, using structures such as “when they have enough money” and “although people can make happy themselves by spending time with elders.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “happiness is important to live good and healthy life,” “the person who is curious about latest sports car and he can buy only if,” and “The other things in life can make people happy is.” These show problems with articles, sentence construction and subject–verb agreement. There are also errors in verb patterns and prepositions, as in “visit to well-known places.” Practise building complete sentences around one main clause, then check agreement, articles and clause connections.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.