Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary area, several individuals believes that be wealthy is the major reason for being elevated in life. I will intend to analyse this view along with my own perspective.

Firstly, earning ample of money is imperative for everyone to fulfil their dreams. Moreover, wealth provides quality of life and offer you power to combat any arduoussituations. Further more, money can be used to show high class or richness and makes you powerful to buy luxurious lifestyle. Therefore, being financial strong makes individual extremely happy earning.

Secondly, there are multifarious reasons which can make us extremely Happy, other than wealth, which consist of maintaining good health and healthy relationships. For instance, involving in physical activities like soccer, cricket, gym and having nutritious diet makes us internally happy. However, spending spare time with your loved ones or parents makes healthy relationship. Thus, it is evident that there are many secondary, there are many reasons which makes us elated, not just wealth.

In conclusion, although money offers plethora of happiness in terms of better standard of living and financial stability, I firmly believe that there are several additional factors which can make us happy. Therefore, earning wealth should not be the primary reason of our lifespan.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you explain that money can provide a better standard of living, financial security and access to luxury, then identify health and relationships as other sources of happiness. Your position is also clear in the conclusion, where you say wealth should not be the primary reason for living. However, several points remain general: “quality of life” and “power to combat” difficult situations are not explained with specific examples, and the discussion of health and relationships is brief. The response also contains 205 words, below the required 250, so there is limited space to develop the ideas. Extend each main point with a clear explanation or relevant example, such as how financial security reduces stress or how supportive relationships improve wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “For instance,” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the main stages. However, some linking is mechanical, and the final sentence of the second body paragraph repeats the same point: “there are many secondary, there are many reasons.” The relationship between ideas is also occasionally unclear, particularly in “Thus, it is evident…” after the examples. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence build on the previous one. Clearer referencing and a more direct link between examples and the paragraph’s main claim would improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You show an adequate range and attempt less common vocabulary, including “financial stability,” “nutritious diet,” “multifarious,” and “elated.” These choices communicate the topic, although some are inaccurate or unnatural in context. For example, “ample of money,” “financial strong,” and “extremely happy earning” do not express the intended meanings naturally; “arduoussituations” also contains a spacing error. “Secondary” is not a suitable description of other reasons for happiness. Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than choosing formal-sounding words that do not fit. Reusing straightforward terms such as “financial security,” “comfortable lifestyle,” and “emotional wellbeing” accurately would strengthen clarity and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, including “although money offers…” and “which can make us…”. The main ideas are generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms and sentence construction remain. For example, “several individuals believes” should use a plural verb, while “wealth provides quality of life and offer you power” has inconsistent agreement. The opening phrase “that be wealthy is” also needs a grammatical form such as “that being wealthy is.” In “there are many reasons which makes us,” the verb should agree with the plural noun. Check each sentence for a clear subject and matching verb, and revise longer sentences to ensure their clauses connect correctly.

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