Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 14 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Money plays an important role in people's happiness because we can enjoy luxurious life style with money. Therefore, many people believe that people can get happiness only by money. However, it is not only factor that contributes to a satisfying Life which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, it is easy to understand how money brings happiness. Money provides financial security to the individuals because they can full fill their basic needs such as home or shelter, food, clothing. People can afford quality treatment and a healthier lifestyle. For example, if any individual suffering from heart problem or any other problem they can get treatment without any hassles. Its also provide freedom and opportunities to travel abroad, pursue hobbies and receive a better quality education. When people have enough money they are also free from stress or anxiety which provides financial stability to the people.

However, there are multiple other sources of happiness. When people spend quality time with their loved one's which creates emotional satisfaction and strong family relationships. When people have strong relationships with their family then their physical and mental well-being automatically improved. For instance, a person with a modest income but a loving family and good health may feel more happier than a person who is lonely. When person is satisfied from their relationships they can more focus on their work which increases the productivity at the workplace and they can get promotion and reward.

In the conclusion, money can provide comfort, security and opportunities. But, relationships, health and personal satisfaction are equally important for genuine happiness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the question and maintains a clear position: money can provide comfort and security, but it is not the only source of happiness. The first body paragraph explains how money can meet basic needs, support healthcare, and create opportunities; the second gives relationships and health as alternatives, with a relevant comparison between a person with a loving family and a lonely person. These ideas are supported with examples and are generally extended. Some points, however, are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, the link between relationship satisfaction and workplace promotion is not clearly developed. To strengthen the response further, explain the significance of each example and avoid broad claims such as money removing stress altogether.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on money and other sources of happiness, and a conclusion that restates the central view. Progression is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “In the conclusion” help readers identify the stages of the argument. The examples are placed alongside the points they support. Some connections are less smooth, particularly the move from relationship satisfaction to increased workplace productivity and promotion, which feels abrupt. There is also some repetition of “people” and “happiness,” and the opening sentence’s “Therefore” does not establish a fully clear cause-and-effect link. Use a wider range of referencing and make the relationship between successive ideas more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for discussing money, wellbeing, and relationships, and phrases such as “financial security,” “emotional satisfaction,” and “mental well-being” communicate relevant ideas. There are also attempts at more specific language, including “pursue hobbies” and “quality education.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “enjoy luxurious life style,” “full fill their basic needs,” and “more happier.” “Its also provide” also shows an inaccurate word form. These issues do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling and word forms carefully; for example, use “a luxurious lifestyle,” “fulfil basic needs,” and “feel happier.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “when,” and “which.” Most ideas remain understandable, and the writer attempts to explain causes and consequences rather than relying only on short statements. Some grammatical errors persist, however. Examples include “if any individual suffering” instead of a correctly formed conditional clause, “Its also provide” instead of “It also provides,” and “their physical and mental well-being automatically improved,” where the verb form does not agree with the sentence structure. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in “When person is satisfied from their relationships.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement, complete verb phrases, and article use, while retaining the complex structures attempted here.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.