Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Manager

xyz store,

ontario.

Subject: in matter of regarding merchandise return, denied refund.

Dear sir,

Hope this letter find you well, the purpose of writing this letter is to address an issue regarding merchandise which i bought from the store which turned out to be damaged and when came to return, I was denied for refund.

On last Sunday, I bought a shirt from store for my father as an gift for him. When i hand over it to father he told me that shirt has a small hole in back side near shoulder so after finding the damage I came into store for refund, one of the customer service representative told me that store return policy is as such we cant give refund to customer once good are sold.

So in regards to store policy I am writing this letter asking for refund for product as it was damaged and was unaware when purchased and it would be unjust to me if store return policy has such rule even if product has defect.

in the light of above mentioned reason I believe you will provide me exception based on case and refund my amount.

hope to get response from you.

sincerely,

jeshal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task: describing the defect, explaining the interaction with staff, and stating your desired outcome. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter of complaint. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the description of the damage is brief, and the explanation of the store's refusal could be more detailed to better convey your frustration. To improve, ensure that each point is fully expanded with relevant details to provide a more comprehensive account of the situation, which would help in achieving a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The letter follows a logical structure, moving from the purpose of the letter to the specific incident and finally the requested resolution. Paragraphing is present, though the transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. You rely on basic cohesive devices, such as 'So' and 'in the light of', which are functional but occasionally repetitive or slightly unnatural in a formal context. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. The overall progression of ideas is clear, but the flow could be smoother with more sophisticated signposting.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate the situation clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'merchandise', 'refund', and 'defect'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors, such as 'as an gift' (should be 'as a gift') and 'good are sold' (should be 'goods are sold'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and lacks the precision expected at higher levels. To improve, focus on learning common collocations related to retail and customer service, and pay closer attention to articles and pluralization, which currently detract from the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including missing articles ('in store', 'at back side'), incorrect verb forms ('Hope this letter find you well'), and punctuation issues. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Proofreading for basic sentence construction errors before finalizing your work will significantly improve the accuracy and professional quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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