Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Barron's Writing · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Dear Store Manager,

Today i am writing this letter to inform you that last week I bought a jacket from your store, which looked really nice, but when I reached home to and open the bag i was totally disappointed to saw a big hole in front of the jacket.

After that i decided to return this item and I visited at your superstore and told to your staff a jacket which was bought by me is totally damage so i would like to return it.

If there is possible to return the payment otherwise please replace it with new one. This happended with me very first time when i have to visit again at your store. Hopefully, you will focus on it and give me good service.

Thank you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points: describing the damage, explaining the interaction with staff, and stating the desired outcome. However, the response is significantly under the 150-word minimum, which limits the development of ideas. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter, but the brevity prevents a fully professional and persuasive argument. To improve, you should expand on the details, such as mentioning the date of purchase, the specific store location, or the receipt number, and provide a more formal closing statement to ensure the letter meets the length requirement and demonstrates a more comprehensive approach to the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into short paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the narrative. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite limited and mechanical. Phrases like 'After that' and 'If there is possible' are used to transition, but the flow between sentences feels somewhat disjointed. The paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to separate the problem description from the proposed solution. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that transitions smoothly into the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You rely on simple descriptors like 'really nice' and 'big hole'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'told to your staff a jacket which was bought by me is totally damage' (should be 'damaged'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or formal complaints effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more precise adjectives and formal business terminology, such as 'defective merchandise', 'unacceptable condition', or 'request a full refund'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you convey your message with greater clarity and professionalism.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'i was totally disappointed to saw' (should be 'to see'), 'visited at your superstore' (should be 'visited your store'), and 'This happended with me very first time' (should be 'This is the first time this has happened to me'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of 'i' instead of the capitalized 'I'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tense usage, and ensuring all sentences are grammatically complete.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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