Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir/Mam

I am writing regarding my jacket. Last month, i bought a jacket , from your store, i paid and then the employer said, we will send it on your address, and after open the package ,i found out , not only there are no sleeves on jacket, but also, the zipper was broken. Therefore, i cannot zip my jacket in the winter.

Additionally, i went to your store to returned the jacket, and i hand over the jacket to employer, while, he totally disagree, with the damage. He said, the zipper is broken, however, i showed the bill and company and the rights of customers. Again he said that, was not company policy. He denied to returned my jacket or refund.

Furthermore, i pay considerable amount of money. i am a great fan of "OWL" brand. This is my favourite jacket so, i want you to replace my order.

your faithfully

Ivy

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The letter addresses all three bullet points: describing the damage, explaining the store's refusal to return the item, and stating the desired outcome. However, the development is somewhat limited. The description of the damage is slightly confusing (e.g., 'no sleeves on jacket'), and the explanation of the store visit is repetitive. While the purpose is clear, the tone is inconsistent for a formal letter of complaint. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific details about the purchase date or transaction reference and ensure the tone remains professional throughout the communication.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The letter is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the narrative. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Therefore' and 'Additionally' are used, but the flow between sentences is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. The referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'he totally disagree' without specifying who 'he' refers to until later. Improving the transition between ideas and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would significantly improve the logical flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'employer' (which is likely incorrect; you mean 'staff member' or 'assistant') and 'damage'. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'denied to returned' instead of 'refused to accept a return'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the persistent errors in word formation and collocation limit the score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more formal business-related collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writing contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are consistent issues with verb tenses (e.g., 'i pay' instead of 'I paid'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Punctuation is also problematic, with commas often used incorrectly or missing entirely, and the capitalization of 'i' is consistently neglected. While there is an attempt at complex sentences, they are often marred by errors, such as 'not only there are no sleeves... but also, the zipper was broken'. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would lead to immediate improvement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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