Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to bring your attention that I recently bought a jacket from the city store and when I found it damaged, I was said no by sales associate when I tried to return.

To being with, I recently purchased the new addition "Tech Fleece" Nike jacket. It was red and black in colour. I bought the M-size for myself. In addition, I was worried about the colour issue, therefore, I ask about the return policy to the store representative. He said that you can return it in the store within 15 days.

Furthermore, being not-satisfied by purchase, I decide to return it . When I went back to store, they said they need receipt of purchase to take back the item. Moreover, I lost my receipt.

That said, I would kindly request you to assist me with this issue and if kindly possible provide me replacement of this jacket with the different colour.

Thank you for considering my prompt response.

Your sincerely,

Maksud

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You described the jacket by mentioning it was a red and black Nike 'Tech Fleece' size M, explained what happened when you tried to return it by stating that the staff asked for a receipt which you had lost, and clearly stated what you would like the manager to do by requesting a replacement in a different colour. Your ideas are relevant and appropriately presented for a general correspondence task. However, the development of the ideas is somewhat basic, placing the response solidly at Band 6.0 according to the criteria. To reach a higher band, you could have provided more realistic context, such as the date of purchase or the specific store location, making the communication more convincing and fully realized.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The letter follows a recognizable letter format and uses basic paragraphing to separate different stages of your message, such as the introduction, details of the purchase, the return issue, and your request. You attempted cohesive devices such as 'To being with', 'In addition', and 'Furthermore', which guide the reader through the text. However, some of these cohesive links are either mechanically used or grammatically flawed, such as 'To being with' instead of 'To begin with'. Paragraphing could also be organized more effectively to group related ideas together. Overall arrangement is coherent, but referencing and transitions occasionally feel awkward. This aligns well with the Band 6 descriptor for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to successfully communicate the problem and your request. You use some appropriate terms related to shopping, such as 'merchandise', 'purchase', 'return policy', and 'receipt'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'colour issue' instead of 'defect' or 'damage', 'being not-satisfied by purchase', and 'provide me replacement'. Furthermore, spelling and word formation errors, such as 'To being with' instead of 'To begin with', show limited control over less common vocabulary. Because the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning despite noticeable errors, a Band 5.5 is awarded.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses and conditional structures like 'if kindly possible provide me replacement'. However, your writing contains frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Examples include 'I am writing to bring your attention that I recently bought', where the preposition is missing ('bring to your attention'), 'I was said no by sales associate', which uses incorrect passive voice, and 'I ask about the return policy' (tense consistency error). While these errors do not completely obscure your meaning, they occur frequently enough to impede smooth reading. This level of grammatical control reflects the Band 5.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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