Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Barron's Writing · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was
damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise
cannot be returned.

Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter:
• describe the problem with the jacket.
• explain what happened when you tried to return it.
• say what you would like the manager to do.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Dear Sir,

I hope this letter finds you well.

I am writing this to you because I need to discuss something really important to you as you are the store manager you must be aware about the sales of your store name Kawartha and I recently bought a jacket from your place when I bought it it was perfect but as soon as I reached home and try to discover it that was shocking It was completely damaged.

The chain and collar was broken and i was really upset on that time because it was really important for me to wear this jacket at my upcoming concert and i do not have anything to wear now on the top of that when I tried to return the jacket the shopkeeper denied to take it back and told me that merchandise can not be returned .

As you are the manager and you should have all the authorities to solve the problems , So I am requesting you to do something either you can replace it with something else with the same price otherwise give me my

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully cover all three required bullet points of the prompt, ensuring the purpose of the letter is clear. You describe the problem with the jacket by mentioning the broken chain and collar, explain what happened when you tried to return it through the shopkeepers refusal, and state what you would like the manager to do regarding a replacement or a refund. However, some of these ideas are under-developed or lack full elaboration. For instance, the final request cuts off mid-sentence and fails to clearly specify the desired outcome or present a fully formed concluding demand. To improve further, you should expand on each point with greater detail, ensuring that your requests and explanations are fully articulated from start to finish without trailing off.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your letter has a coherent overall arrangement, and the reader can easily follow the sequence of events from purchasing the jacket to the failed return. However, the cohesion is sometimes mechanical and hampered by a lack of proper punctuation. You rely heavily on run-on sentences connected by conjunctions like 'and' rather than using clear full stops or semicolons. Furthermore, paragraphing is inadequate because the entire body of the letter is compressed into massive, breathless blocks of text without logical division. To reach the next level, you need to divide your ideas into distinct paragraphs for each topic—such as a separate paragraph for the problem, another for the shop incident, and a final one for your demand—while using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link your sentences smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrate an adequate vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'merchandise can not be returned' and 'upcoming concert'. However, there are notable limitations and errors in word choice and collocation. For example, using 'try to discover it that was shocking' sounds unnatural, and the spelling or phrasing of 'chain and collar was broken' reflects everyday rather than formal letter-writing vocabulary. There are also occasional word-formation slips. To move to a higher band, you should incorporate a more precise range of vocabulary suitable for a formal complaint letter, avoiding repetitive phrases like 'really important' and selecting more sophisticated, accurate terms to convey your dissatisfaction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout the letter, such as 'I am writing this to you because I need to discuss something really important'. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that pull down the quality of the writing. Most notably, the response suffers from a complete absence of periods in the body paragraphs, resulting in massive run-on sentences. There are also agreement and tense errors, such as 'The chain and collar was broken' instead of 'were broken', and missing articles. To achieve a higher band, you must exercise better control over punctuation by breaking long clauses into separate, grammatically correct sentences and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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